Help Me, Save Me
by DarkElements10
Summary: [Sequel to 'Save Me From Myself']. Now at the start of his senior year, things are better for Zack as he recovers from his eating disorder, but with his friends by his side, he can do it. However with graduation in the near future and no set plans he's starting to become rattled and his solid foundation may crumble back down once more. -Slight UA: universe alterations-
1. Prologue

**Help Me, Save Me**

**By: Riley**

**Summary – **Now at the start of his senior year, things are better for Zack. Every day is as hard as he recovers from his eating disorder, but with his friends by his side, he can do it. However with graduation in the near future and no set plans he's starting to become rattled and his solid foundation may crumble back down once more.

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><p><strong>.:Prologue:.<strong>

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><p>Zack rolled his eyes, trying not to be too annoyed with his mother's words.<p>

"Zack, don't roll your eyes at me like that, I have good reasons for being worried," Carey said. She let out a tired sigh, reaching up to run her fingers through her shoulder length hair. "You're still recovering and I'm afraid that—"

"That I'm going to get so bored I'll start eating paper?" Zack asked sarcastically. "From what I can tell it has plenty of fiber so at least I'll be getting that in my diet." As if to prove his point he reached out to the half eaten plate of food sitting in front of him and picked up his sandwich, taking a bite. "It's just school Mom, not a cult that's trying to make me worse."

The corner of Carey's mouth twitched upwards. "What about sports though? I know you, Zack. Every time you're told not to do something you always do it." Zack shrugged, smirking. "And the doctors said you can't play any sports until he feels you're strong enough."

"That has nothing to do with going back to school, that has to do with not running around for a while because they think it'll start up my fitness obsession gain," Zack pointed out. He pushed his plate away from him, crossing his arms over his chest. "I don't see what the big deal is."

"The _big deal _is that you're anorexic, Zack."

"I know that. But senior year is starting up and all I want to do is go back and see my friends. You have to admit that me _begging _to go to school must mean something. Especially when I would do my best to stay away from it." He continued when his mother chuckled. "And Dad says that I should be going back to being as normal as possible. _He's _not afraid of me going back."

"Please don't make this a fight between me and your father," Carey said warily. "We already do enough of that around Christmas time as it is." She crossed her legs at the knee and brought a hand up to her chin. "It's hard enough that you two go back and forth from the Tipton to his apartment every two weeks now."

"It's what we all agreed on, so…"

"I know. I know." Carey sat in silence as she thought. Zack continued to sit across from her, gently poking his finger into the center of his sandwich. He was in recovery and had gotten better at eating what was on his plate; however there were still times where he found himself full by the time he was done with half of his plate.

Even his favorite foods would remain half untouched when he got to that point. His doctors had said it would take a while before he got back to his normal eating habits, especially as he was trying to gain weight rather than lose it. Now his food journal kept track of what he ate in a more positive way. It had to get checked every morning and every night, so much so that even if he wanted to skip a meal again, it would be readily detected.

"I can't let my friends go into their senior year without me," Zack continued. "You have to trust me some time."

"I _do_ trust you, Zack. I'm just worried. I'm a mother, I can't help it."

He knew that. She had been with him every step of the way while he was going in and out of doctor's officers and therapy appointments. It surprised him really; even after all of those mean thing she had said to her as he was venting, trying to get his frustration of his relationship with her out in the open. He had said some truly mean things and had felt bad about it afterwards. He felt worse when Carey said she understood how he felt, apologized, and had moved on from it. He expected and in a way _wanted_ her to blow up at him. He was used to it, seeing her agree with everything was just wrong.

But their relationship was getting better, though it still wasn't to the point he wanted it to be.

"I guess I can't keep you from going to school, especially since no one would be able to home school you," she said.

"And because Moseby probably doesn't want to see more of me than he already has to when I'm at work," Zack agreed.

"Alright," Carey said. She held up a hand as Zack grinned. "But you're going to be going part-time, I don't think you're ready to go back full time yet. Not with all of the pressure of it being your senior year."

"But what about graduation?" Zack protested. "I won't be able to do it on time if I don't go full time."

"It won't be good for you to suddenly jump back into everything," Carey pointed out. "The doctor says that stress can be a big part of anorexia and going back into that isn't a good idea right now. Besides, you know everyone's going to talk and having all of those questions thrown your way won't help either."

Zack sighed and nodded.

As long as things were going back to normal, he could deal with it. He just had to prove to everyone else around him that he was better.

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><p><strong>AN: **This is the actual sequel to _Save Me From Myself, _while _Intuition _is a side-sequel sort of thing. I'm thinking of writing them both at the same time, but we'll see what happens as time goes on. Please bear with me as this story won't be updated as frequently as _Downfall _since I want to focus on that a bit more.

Cheers

-Riles


	2. Starting Over

**.:Chapter One:.**

_Starting Over_

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><p>"Hey, Zack, are you ready to go?" Cody Martin leaned against the doorframe to the bathroom and peered in at his older brother, eyebrow rising. "What are you doing?"<p>

"What does it look like?" Zack glanced at his twin in the mirror before bringing a washcloth up to his face and wiping off the excess shaving cream that dotted his cheeks and chin. "I'm shaving. Not something that you have to deal with for a while, I'm sure."

This earned a roll of the eyes from Cody. "You barely have enough stubble to consider it a beard and you're already making fun of me for being the 'younger brother'." Completing the statement with finger quotes, the younger twin crossed his arms over his chest. "It's really not that big a deal. Then again, I seem to remember you freaking out over your non-existent armpit hair."

"Which _you_ pulled out."

"There wasn't _any _hair there!"

"We can have this fight for the rest of our lives, but as the case shows, there was a hair in my armpit and you pulled it out before it could reach its full potential."

Zack turned from the mirror and smirked at his brother, who, once again, rolled his eyes. He turned back to the cabinet and pulled out a bottle of cologne, gently splashing some onto his neck before bending over and picking up his backpack from the floor. He followed Cody out of the bathroom and across the floor of the suite, passing his mother as she sat on the couch.

"Have a good day at school, boys," She said, keeping herself busy with the newspaper that was spread across her stomach and the cushions of the couch. Taking one look at her, Zack could tell she was doing her best to keep from showing her worry over him leaving. He glanced over at Cody, who shrugged in his backpack before nodding over at her.

Zack nodded back then walked over to his mother and bent down, giving her a kiss on the cheek. Carey looked up at him in surprise and he smiled at her. "Love you, Mom."

"Love you," she replied. Sensing she was about to start crying, Zack backed out of the suite and he and Cody went to the elevators. They rode it down to the lobby and when they stepped out, Zack immediately noticed Mr. Moseby heading their way. "Hmm, did I do anything within the past few days that would have Moseby be mad at me?"

"You mean apart from existing?" Cody shot back. Zack elbowed him in the side. The twin boys stood up straight as Mr. Moseby finally reached them. "Good Morning, Mr. Moseby, how are you doing today?"

"I'm well, thank you," Mr. Moseby replied. His eyes shifted back and forth between Zack and Cody. "So this is the start of your senior year?" They nodded. "Everyone at the Tipton hotel are proud of you boys and we know you'll go far with whatever you decide to pursue."

Not for the first time, Zack was struck with how sincere Mr. Moseby was being to the twin boys. The first time had been when Mr. Moseby said that he really, truly did believe that Zack would be a good fit to work in the Tipton Day care, the other being when he had visited Zack while the latter was in recovery. Mr. Moseby had brought him a card that everyone at the Day Care had signed, hoping he would get better as well as giving him a few words of encouragement to get through the tough times.

If the hotel manager wasn't standing in front of him, doing the same thing now, he wouldn't have believed it.

"Thanks Mr. Moseby," Zack said sincerely. He then gave the older man a sly smile. "Though you do know, now that I feel better, that some things may be going on around here. You may want to keep your eyes peeled." Mr. Moseby's jovial smile slowly formed into a scowl as he looked the twin boys up and down with a suspicious glance. "But, it's our first day back to school; I don't want you to have to deal with anything while we're gone all day. So you get a reprieve."

A low growl escaped Mr. Moseby's lips. He kept the two boys in his line of sigh as he backed away from them and headed into his office. They didn't leave the Tipton, smiling at Normal the Doorman, until Mr. Moseby had closed the office door behind them.

"You think we should've told Moseby not to look into the top right drawer of his dresser?" Cody asked Zack. The two laughed when they could suddenly hear the sound of Mr. Moseby's startled shriek. "Never mind, it's too late for that."

"Well, that made me start out my day with a smile," Zack declared, opening his stride as he continued walking down the street. "Hopefully school won't drag it down." He was referring to school in general, but the worrying thoughts entered his head before he could stop them.

What would his classmates say when they saw him?

Would he be teased?

Ridiculed?

Would he get a lot of pity?

That's what he was the most worried about, the pitying looks and the sympathy that he didn't really need. All of the cards, presents, and flowers while he had been in the hospital were enough. Those were the ones that he liked, the ones that were more sympathetic and real compared to those that that came later and only when they saw him in person.

_How do I look? _As much as he told his parents and brother that he was fine, he kept it a secret that he still saw himself as fat in the mirror. From what his doctors said, that was supposed to happen. NO matter how healthy or 'better' he got, he still had to get over the mental block that had been the basis of his disorder. He could look into a mirror and be physically and athletically healthy, but what he would see in the mirror was someone who was severely out of shape.

There were still things he had to come to terms with and his reflection in the mirror was only one of them.

"Relax," Cody said. He appeared to have been reading Zack's mind, if not having seen the worried expression on his brother's face. "You look fine. You look better than you have in a while; the recovery path you've been going on is great. It's coming from some of the top doctors in Boston."

"If that's the case, how do we afford it?" Zack scratched his chin. "I mean, Mom's a singer and Dad works in the medieval restaurant. We're not exactly rolling in the dough, Codes."

Cody shrugged. "I don't know. I asked Mom about it and she says that we shouldn't worry, it's all been handled." He ran a hand over his hair. "Besides, if anything, I think you're more afraid of what our friends are going to say." Zack stayed silent. "I'm right, aren't I?"

_Of course you're right, you're always right, _Zack couldn't help but think. He immediately felt nothing but guilt. It was what had really gotten him into his disease in the first place. His teasing of his brother had done nothing but spur Cody to work hard to prove that he could be as great of an athlete as Zack was. Tapeworm too. Then Cody and Tapeworm had tried out and joined the basketball team, quickly bumping Zack out of his spot of point guard. His ego had taken a blow and his jealousy of his brother's newfound popularity had done nothing but spur him to show that he could be even better. _Whoa, you're not blaming Cody for this whole thing! It wasn't his fault! _

Glancing at his twin out of the corner of his eye, Zack watched as Cody continued to walk along beside him, keeping up with his pace. _Does he think that he caused me to do this? _Zack cleared his throat. "Cody…I don't want you think that you were the cause of all of this."

Cody regarded his brother with surprise before his shoulders slumped. "I was the one that took your spot on the team," he pointed out. "I'm the one that caused you to start working out more. And, I didn't really help by talking to you about it or anything." He shifted his backpack up his shoulders. "Y'see, I just wanted to—"

"—you don't have to explain anything to me, Cody," Zack interrupted. He didn't want to hear it. He couldn't stand to hear what it was that his brother had to say. No excuses. No ways of trying to make Zack feel better or worse, even guiltier than before. "Forget I even said anything. Just know that I don't blame you for it."

"OK."

"So tell me what I've been missing while I've been in therapy and stuff," Zack insisted. "I know that Tutweiller has been dumped again, so that should make our study halls interesting." Cody snorted. "But…what's been going on with you and Rhu? Last I heard you guys weren't really talking to each other."

One again, Cody shrugged. "Since what happened to you and what she told me…we're talking again. But, she doesn't talk about it, just like everything else that she and her siblings keep quiet about. Crys too, since she doesn't really like talking about her Mom."

Zack didn't agree with that. Crystal Manning _did _like to talk about her mother, it just depended on who she was speaking to that she would open up to her emotions about it. In fact, Zack had been surprised when he had asked her about her mother one day the past winter. It had suddenly come out, but she had told him about when she had been living n Canada, which he had been interested in a well. And even though Crystal had dated Cody for a while, he knew she wouldn't talk to him about it unless she felt the time was right. Which was weird, as she was always closer to Cody than she was to him.

"Otherwise, not much has been going on," Cody continued. "Moose has enrolled as a fulltime student, having moved in with Bailey's family because their parents were always so close." Zack almost laughed out loud. He hadn't known Moose Dano long, but from his limited interactions with him he could see that whatever Moose set his mind out to get, he was going to get it.

He had come up to Boston to visit his ex-girlfriend, Bailey Pickett, last winter and ended up enjoying the city so much that before he left, that he had started talking about moving to go to school there. In fact, Moose had really been the first one to see that he had problems with his eating disorder and had been there when Zack had a heart attack and collapsed in the gym.

"I bet Bailey's a bit frustrated with him always being around now," Zack remarked. "Wasn't he the one that she said would think he knew what was best for her when he didn't?"

"Yeah," Cody agreed. "Other than that, nothing really. But…Tape and Max are still going out…if that's what you were wondering." He looked at Zack out of the corner of his eye and Zack did his best to keep a blank expression on his face.

He had dated Max first, since about eighth grade or so, as he could remember. Things had been going well between the two of them right up until basketball season of their junior year, the year before. There had always been cracks in their relationship; she didn't like the attention he got from and gave to girls and he didn't like how she could be bossy and controlling towards him. Nevertheless, they enjoyed their time together and then Tapeworm, who apparently had a crush on his best friend for a while, kissed her and it created even more problems. It forced Zack and Max to realize that there were more problems between them than they originally thought that they may have grown out of each other and they broke up.

It didn't take long for Tapeworm and Max to start dating and while things had been a bit awkward between himself and Tapeworm, Zack had gotten over it and they had continued their friendship with no problems otherwise.

Still, it was a bit of a sore subject for him as he wasn't entirely sure how he felt about the situation. Zack had been forced to talk with his therapists and other doctors about the things that transpired around the time his disorder started. His relationship with Max had been one of the things the doctors found to be the more interesting and poignant.

"Yeah, I just wasn't sure how I was going to ask," Zack admitted. "That's good for them. I bet they're really happy together."

"Aww, who knew you could be so mature." Reaching out, Cody pinched Zack's cheek and pulled it back and forth, much like their grandmother would every time she came to visit. Zack reached up and pushed his hand away before twisting his right foot backwards and kicked Cody in the butt. "Ow!" Cody brought his hands around and rubbed himself until the sting went away. "Good to know you still have your sense of humor." He lowered his hands and pointed forward. "Hey, everyone's here."

Zack followed Cody's gesticulation and suddenly felt very self conscious. Tapeworm Michaels, Max Montgomery, Bailey Picket, Moose Dano, Crystal and Aaron Manning, and Riley, Rhuben, Patrick, Noah, and Sydney Jackson were waiting for them on the street corner, much like they always did before they walked to school. He hadn't seen much of his friends since the prom. His summer had been spent going to therapy, going to doctors appointments, meeting with nutritionists, trainers, and anyone that could help him, not giving him a lot of time to hang out. He had even pulled out of the rest of junior year of high school so that he could get his studies done on his own time and still get into senior year with no penalties.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Bailey was the first to notice Zack and smiled wide before hurrying over to him. "Zack! You're here!" She cried, throwing her arms around his neck in a hug. Zack smiled and hugged her back. Though it could be annoying, he had missed her enthusiasm with just about every little thing. "It's so good to see you!" Still gripping his wrists she backed up and looked him up and down. "You look great."

"Thanks," Zack replied gratefully. He didn't believe it for a second. _Can't she see that I'm still fat? _The thought crossed his mind about three times within that second. He hoped she wasn't just being nice to him. "It's great to see you, too." His eyes moved to her hair, which was now an auburn color. "I like your hair."

"Thanks." She reached up and ran her fingers over her hair.

"It's great to see you, man," Moose agreed, holding out his hand. Zack slapped his into the country boy's trying not to fall to his knees under the tight grasp Moose executed upon him. "Better than seeing you with your face in the floor."

"Or pale white," Sydney, the youngest of the Jacksons, added, going over to the older boy and giving him a hug as well. His blue eyes were bright, standing out against his black hair, dimples in his cheeks as he gave the blonde boy a genuine smile. "You really scared us, you know."

"You should be used to it by now," Zack cracked. "You guys are all scary as it is." He smiled and laughed along with his friends before taking the hugs that each of them gave to him. Max was last and she held him the longest. He felt better; know how worried she had been, even if they weren't dating anymore. And even though she didn't say anything, just gave him a smile as she backed away, dropping her arms to her sides, he understood what she was saying. "So are you all ready for another year of school?"

"It might be hard to believe, but Zack was actually begging to come back," Cody said.

Riley Jackson, the eldest, raised an eyebrow as she exchanged a glance with her twin sister, Rhuben. "That's understandable, though I'm sure a lot of people would've been glad to be cooped up in the Tipton hotel," She remarked, moving her gaze back to the eldest of the blond twins.

"Oh come on," Zack said, a flirtatious lift to his voice. "You know you missed me."

Riley nodded. "I did, actually," She replied sincerely, causing Zack to beam.

"And it's probably going to be the only time you ever hear that," the Jacksons's cousin, Crystal, commented with a smile. "So you might want to be sure you engrain it in your memory." She reached out and paled a hand on Zack's shoulder. "It's really good to see you. We're glad you can graduate with us now."

"Uhh, about that…" Zack trailed off. He let out a breath before shoving his hands into the pockets of his cargoes. "I'm not going to be going to school full time. So I might not be able to graduate with you guys."

Tapeworm's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "You're only going to be going part time? What about everything else? Will you just do your homework at home? What about your lessons?"

"Mom and the doctors say that they don't want me to stress myself too much," Zack said.

He explained that he wouldn't be able to play a sport while he would be working on getting better, causing Patrick and Noah to frown. Now sophomores in high school and friends with Zack and Cody since they had moved to Boston years before, they were used to playing on a sports team with the twin boys. They knew how much Zack loved to participate in as many sports as possible.

If not to get rid of the constant surge of energy that usually resulted in a prank on Mr. Moseby.

"That's understandable," Aaron Manning, Crystal's little brother, remarked, his sightless eyes turned in Zack's direction. "They all just want to be sure that you don't suddenly jump into everything again. It may exacerbate the problem."

"That's what the doctors said," Cody agreed. "But things should be OK." He looked at his watch. "We should get going to school or else we're going to be late. And that's one habit I think that Zack should break now."

For the first time that day, Zack rolled his eyes. "So I say that I want to go to school and everyone thinks, all of a sudden, that I want to be a model student." He gave a goofy smile. "I never wanted things to go _that _far."

"That's what happens when you beg to go back to school," Rhuben pointed out. "Everyone's going to start looking at you differently." She and Zack exchanged a knowing smile. She was the only other one that he knew that had battled anorexia as well, and he had found himself calling her while in recovery to have someone to talk to that understood what it was he was going through.

In fact, now that he thought about it, he had a special friendship with each of his friends. Cody was his twin brother; there was no one that could ever come between that. Max was someone he could hang out with and share a sense of humor with—the two still got in trouble for messing with restaurant waiters, Tapeworm, while still being as much of a nerd as Cody, was as into video games and baseball as he could be, Patrick, Noah, Sydney, and Aaron were like brothers to him in the aspect that they could always find some sort of trouble to fall into white at the Tipton hotel, Crystal was someone he found he could talk about his worries with, if she wasn't acting like his own mother when getting on him about his school work, Bailey shared her enthusiasm about everything life had to offer, Moose he didn't know well at that point but felt gratitude for, and Riley…

He sighed quietly. That was a whole other can of worms to open. She was just as outgoing and energetic as he could be, but then turned down each and every one of his advances. Nevertheless, it still kept him interested.

"C'mon, let's go." Noah waved a hand and the group started to walk towards school.

Zack trailed in the back with Cody beside him, smiling and watching as his friends carried on the way they always did not he walk to school. Tapeworm was telling a story about some news article he had read the night before with Cody, Sydney, and Aaron listening at rapt attention and Moose was telling some sort of story about life on his family's farm that had all of the girls at rapt attention as well. (He made a mental note to ask Cody about that).

School was going to be hard to adjust into once more, but with his friends by his side he could do it.

He just had to stay out of his head.

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><p><strong>AN: **More story points will come into play as the story continues, though the first ones for Zack have started. The adults will come more into play in this story than the last, as it was sort of a last minute addition in the last story. Others will be the pairings I started in the last story as well as the big one between Zack, Cody, and their parents.

I'll update again soon.

**Cheers**

**-Riles**


	3. The First Day

**.:Chapter Two:.**

_The First Day_

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><p>Zack hesitated as he reached the front steps of Cheevers High School. As per usual before the bell rang, students were sitting around on the steps, hanging out in the parking lot, and just talking and laughing with each other as they met up after having been away all summer.<p>

Normally he would've been right there on the steps, floating from group to group, talking with as many people as he could, showing off the new wardrobe that would've been purchased from his mother's summer bonus—which Zack and Cody were sure was a way for Mr. Moseby to celebrate that they'd be in school all day as opposed to torturing him all summer.

But, no.

This time he was staring up at one of the main stressors of his life, wondering if things were going to be easier or harder this time around. He wasn't going to be going full time, that much was true, but when he _was _there, he would be expected to be treated like a normal high school senior again. And if he was going to graduate on time, that meant working even harder than all of his other classmates, because they would be getting all of the attention they needed at a moment's notice while he would have to schedule around his appointments and work.

"You ok?" Zack turned to his side and spotted Patrick standing beside him, scratching the back of his neck. "You're not going to miss much, dude. Just Tutweiller crying over her recent breakup and the principal dolling out detentions left and right. Bloody boring, yeah?"

Zack chuckled quietly. "Is it said that I'd rather be bored in there than at the Tipton?"

Now the Australian boy gave Zack a half smile, which appeared more like a smirk. "Only because you can't get room service here, yeah?" Zack laughed and gave him a high-five before shifting his backpack further up his shoulders.

He let out a quiet breath.

He could do this. It wasn't going to be hard. With his friends and his brother there, he could do it. He glanced at Cody, as if for subconscious support, and found that he was giving his older brother a warm, encouraging smile. Suddenly Zack was annoyed, knowing that his peers were more than likely to overcompensate on how well they should've treated him before. He didn't want all of the attention and probably didn't have the patience for it, honestly.

"C'mon we have to get our schedules," Bailey said, leading the charge up the front steps. "I need to make sure I got into all of my classes so I can get y books into my locker." With one glance at Bailey's backpack, Zack was surprised it wasn't bursting at the seams.

"I'm assuming that she's taking all AP classes this year," Max commented. And at Moose's verbal agreement she rolled her eyes. "Great, that's going to make her even _more _unbearable when we're studying."

"Wait a minute," Cody frowned. "She's going to be in _all _AP classes. I couldn't get into AP History, how did she manage to do that?" Now frowning in determination, he started to follow her up the stairs. "I need to have a conversation with the registrar."

"I so did _not _miss that," Rhuben commented, causing the others to laugh and follow the two of their smarter friends into the school. Patrick and Noah bid goodbye to their friends and separated out to the sophomore hallway where they would receive their schedules and locker assignments.

Zack looked around as they walked through the front doors of the school and walked around. The walls had been painted, the bulletin boards had been changed, and he could see that the trophy cases had been switched around to bring up a new design for those that walked by. Twisting his mouth to the side, Zack forced himself to look away as he walked by them. It would just be a cruel reminder that he wasn't allowed to play and that he would be monitored as long as the doctors thought was permissible.

"Where do you guys think we're going to go for the annual senior trip?" Max asked, brushing her long ponytail behind her ear. "I don't know about you, but I'm hoping we can raise enough money to go someplace warm and exotic."

"Like what?" Riley snorted. "The Bahamas?"

"The Bahamas would be nice," Tapeworm agreed. "But, realistically, I don't think the school would allow a bunch of seniors to go some place that fancy. No including how expensive it would be." He did a quick mental calculation. "It would be over 50,000 dollars for tickets and transportation for everyone alone, and that's not even going first class."

"Don't crush our hopes and dreams, Tape, at least let us bask in the idea a little," Crystal said, elbowing him in the side. He laughed and moved to Max's other side, placing his arm around her shoulder so that he had a little bit of protection against the raven haired girl.

Zack tapped a finger against his chin. What would be the best way to have a great senior trip? Money was the most important thing and that was what he was really all about. He found simple ways to get money all the time, sure they weren't orthodox, but talking it over with Cody and his parents should make it pretty easy. Besides, each senior class had some money that was left to them anyway, so there was a start.

"Hey, leave it to me," he said confidently. "I can find a great place for us to go and the money to get there."

"What do you plan on doing? Selling farmed goods?" Moose gave Zack a funny look. "I hate to break it to you, boy, but there ain't much around this industrialized city that will bring us an even buck." Zack looked him over. Despite having changed his wardrobe to one of a normal teenage boy so that he would fit in, Moose still had his thick southern drawl, much like Bailey had when she first arrived in Boston, and carried himself differently than the other boys.

It was no wonder any girl that passed, couldn't keep their eyes off him.

He didn't seem to notice though, as far as Zack was concerned, Moose's eyes were still on Bailey.

"If there's anyone that knows about money, Moose, it's Zack," Rhuben defended her friend. "His smooth talking ways can convince anyone to do anything; you might want to put your money where your mouth is."

"I'll believe it when I see it," Moose said.

Zack shrugged and laughed along with his friends. They arrived at the registrar's office and got their schedules and locker assignments. Zack barely glanced over his schedule but did a double take when he noticed that he had been put in AP History. It was his best subject, sure; one of the few he actually did enjoy, nothing was better than studying battles and strategies, but being in AP? No way.

His eyes moved over the rest of his schedule, he would only be on campus Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, with some of his Fridays being optional due to the work load he would receive. He had some of his normal classes as well, math, English, and science, and then he had room to choose an elective if he wanted. Years before it would've been his dream to see all of the blank spaces that meant he didn't have to go to class, but now all he wanted was to be treated normally.

"Whew!" Cody wiped imaginary sweat off his forehead as he looked over his own schedule. "I got all of my AP classes too." He turned to Bailey and gave her a knowing smile. "Now we'll see who's the smartest between us."

"And may the best _girl_ win," Bailey replied. She stuck out her hand and Cody took it, shaking her hand firmly.

"Well, you both already lost because you're such nerds," Zack piped up. He smiled at the laughter that reached his words and the annoyed eye rolls he received from Cody and Bailey. He was already starting to feel that things were going back to normal. "Besides, we have more important things to think about."

"Like?" Crystal pressed.

"Uh, dances, spirit week, the bonfires, homecoming games, parties in general," Zack declared. He started to walk backwards down the hallway in the direction of their lockers. "The senior campout at the end of the year, senior ditch day, senior privileges. Geez, it's like I'm the only one that's excited for senior year around here." He turned around and continued walking for a few steps before turning back and facing his friends, who had all quieted at his words. Zack rolled his eyes. "Guys, I'm not dying. I'm getting better. And even though I can't play a sport and will only be going to school part-time, I intend to make this the best year of my life. So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to find my locker." He held up a hand. "Which poster do you think would be better for the inside? Megan Fox or Hayden Panettiere?"

"Is your theme 'girls Zack can never get'?" Riley guessed with a smirk.

"Just wait about ten years and I'll have one of them," Zack said confidently. "But you could make both of our lives that much easier if you just agreed to go out with me now."

"Last I checked we tried three times and it all ended in failure," Riley pointed out.

"I thought you said those dates were only from pity?" Max reminded her with a mischievous smile. Tapeworm quickly brought his hand up to cover his mouth to keep from laughing out loud, Cody lowered his head to hide his smile, Moose grinned, and Bailey, Crystal, and Rhuben openly laughed.

Riley's right cheek twitched for a moment before she patted Zack on the shoulder as she walked by him. "I'll take my chances with you getting Megan Fox."

Undeterred, Zack followed her and they all arrived at their lockers, starting to put their things inside. Due to their lockers being assigned in alphabetical order by last name, they were always close together. Moose would be further down the line as his last name started with a 'D', but the further down it went it was Rhuben, Riley, Crystal, Cody, Zack, Tapeworm, Max, and Bailey all in a row. It made it easier whenever they wanted to hang out during unscheduled periods where they could just sit on the floor in a large circle and hang out, do homework, talk about what happened in their day, and what they had seen on TV the night before.

In fact, it was the socialization that he liked the most about school. Sure, other students could say the same, but now he wanted it more than before…because he knew that after that school year there was a good chance they would never see each other again. They'd go their separate ways and over time would more than likely forget about each other. It had been what happened to his old friends after having moved so much.

Opening his locker door, Zack placed his backpack inside and unpacked the school supplies that his mother had bought him and Cody a few weeks prior. He actually felt kind of bad about it, not only was it their last year in high school, but it was also their last year living with her. And they would be shuttling back and forth between their father's apartment and the Tipton every two weeks.

_I guess I never realized that things would be so hard on everyone else around me, too, _Zack thought. He pressed his forehead against the shelf in his locker as a wave of nausea suddenly rolled over him. He held his breath, waiting for it to pass. His doctor had told him about the instances coming where he would be sick for no reason. Stress could bring it back on and his body was used to it, as he had gone on a sort of scheduled time to throw up for so long that it would take a while before his body returned to its normal self.

"It'll pass," he heard Rhuben say from beside him. Cracking open an eye he looked at the purple loving raven-haired girl, who gave him a gentle smile. One that was usually reserved for Cody (and even though she and her brother _were _on better terms now, it would probably be beneficial if they actually did talk about what had caused them to break up). _Like I have anything to say about that, _Zack thought with a roll of his eyes. "It takes some time for your body to get used to you _not _wanting to throw up."

"How long does it take?" He mumbled, suddenly feeling miserable. _Maybe coming was a bad idea._

"Can't say." Rhuben shrugged. "It's different for every person. But the nurse should be aware of your situation as well as your teachers so you'll have support if you need to leave."

Zack couldn't help the sarcasm that came out, "And get followed to the bathroom, right?"

With a light sigh, the raven haired girl tilted her head to the side, eyes shifting as she thought for a moment. "It'll take a while before people trust you to be alone again, that's true. And the attention will get to be very annoying at points, but you have to remember that we all just want to see you get better." She gave him a knowing smile. "Even Riles."

Zack smiled back.

"And like I said before, you can still come talk to me if you ever need to. It's better if you talked with someone that knows what you're going through."

"Yeah…" Zack trailed off. There were so many things going on his life that he knew he would be talking to a lot of people but the sentiment was still there and he was grateful for it. Even without having to say it, he knew it was all anyone wanted.

And yet he didn't want it to be the _only _thing they cared about.

"So what's your guys' homeroom?" Tapeworm asked, closing his locker door with a job of his elbow. He folded up his schedule and placed it in the back pocket of his jeans. "I've got Tutweiller."

"We all do," Cody remarked. "They wanted to put the seniors together in one homeroom so that if we need to work on our spirit floats and talk about different ways to raise money and stuff, we'd all be in one place for it."

"Cool. Let's go."

Zack packed up his backpack for his first class and slung it over his shoulder. As he closed his locker door he turned to face the hallways as it was filled with students hurrying to their lockers and their homeroom. He felt a sudden surge of anxiety and a cold sweat broke out on his forehead.

Reaching up, Zack quickly wiped the sweat away.

_You can do this, Zack. Don't quit now._

With a quick breath, he followed his friends

* * *

><p>The school day had gone quicker than he anticipated; forgetting the first day was notoriously known to be reserved just to go over the syllabus and to be let out of their classes early. If he wasn't going to be going to classes the next day he knew he was going to be bored a lot easier than usual. But the first day had been better than he thought.<p>

Miss. Tutweiller was glad to see him, and while he was sure she was holding down her disappointment of another breakup, she did genuinely happy for him and his recovery process. The other teachers greeted him warmly and even the nurse and the principal briefly spoke to him about how they would be there to help him whenever he needed it.

He just hoped he would never need their help.

Once he got home from school he immediately changed into his work uniform and went down to the Tipton Day Care to get started on his first day back. He hesitated in the doorway for a moment before taking a breath and going inside.

"Zack!" Maddie noticed him immediately and put down the tray of animal crackers she had been holding before going over and giving him a hug. If she noticed how easily her arms still went around him, she didn't acknowledge it. "Hey! It's so good to see you!"

Zack hugged her back, just as tightly. "It's good to see you, too. You look great, Sweet Thang." Maddie gave him a playful swat on the arm as she took a step back away from him then placed her hands on her hips, turning to face the little kids as they ran around the room.

"I don't see how, these monsters have been running rampant for hours," She said. "I can't get them down for a nap." Glancing at Zack out of the corner of her eye, she continued. "You were the only one that could get them to do that."

Zack laughed and ran his hands over his face. "Only because I took that time to take a nap, too." He held up a finger as Maddie's expression of elation turned to one of annoyance. "You have to remember I was sick back then, I was always tired." Maddie nodded, the smile still on her face, but the light had faded from her eyes. "Hey. I'm OK now. I'm here, aren't I?"

"I know…" She trailed off for a moment. "It was just…so scary to see you get so bad."

"At least you didn't have to see it in the mirror every day."

"Zack…"

"I'm kidding. I know. It was scary for me too." Zack turned at the sound of his name being called repeatedly and watched as the little girl that had taken a liking to him, Lindsay, toddled over to him. When she reached his side, she wrapped her arms around his leg and rested her cheek against him. "Hey, Linds!" Zack bent down and picked her up, balancing her against his side. "How are you?"

"Fine," she said in her tiny, toddler voice.

"Did you miss me?"

"Yes."

"That's good." Zack smiled and gently tickled her, causing her to squirm and giggle in his arms. He put her down and she quickly ran off to continue playing with her friends. "It's so funny how many people missed me when before…it was like no one cared."

Maddie whipped her head around to face him. He continued to watch the little kids play and didn't react to her glance. It was as if he hadn't noticed that he had spoken out loud.

And if that was one of the things he had been thinking about, she was scared to know what else was going on in his head.


	4. Struggles

**.:Chapter Three:.**

_Struggles_

* * *

><p><em>I wonder how many AP History classes I can skip before it actually starts to affect my grade. <em>Zack sighed heavily, resting his cheek in his palm as he looked down at his homework.

Who knew that anyone actually listened when it came to the idea of getting homework on the first day of school? And of course he didn't pay that much attention when it came to what was going on in class; he was a little too preoccupied thinking about how that year was going to go better than the one before. There was too much at stake for him to throw it all away again.

Then again, this was an AP class and they worked harder than anyone else he knew. But did he want to end up like Cody and Bailey, where they were constantly battling over grades, freaking out if they got an answer wrong, and staying up at all hours of the night to be sure they kept their perfect GPA.

Hearing the sound of the gym door fly open, Zack lifted his head and watched as Max walked across the hardwood court, sneakers squeaking as she walked over to him. He didn't speak until she was a few steps on the bleachers away from him. "What are you doing here?"

"What are _you _doing here?" Max shot back. She lowered herself down onto the bench next to him.

Zack rolled his head towards her, giving a charming smile which Max was relieved to see hadn't gotten lost while he was in the hospital. "I asked you first," he reminded her.

With a roll of her eyes, Max allowed her silence to speak instead. She tilted her head back, allowing her lightened hair to fall back over her shoulders and looked up at the ceiling. It was a bit strange for her to be on the bleachers as opposed to running around the court or sliding across the floor in dance moves. The different perspective only gave her a view of the warrior that was imprinted in the middle of the court as well as the high school's name on the edges of the court.

The basketball hoops were raised into the ceiling and the stands were clear of clutter which was a stark contrast to the appalling state it was left in after basketball games.

"I was wondering how you were doing," Max said. Her honesty must've startled Zack for he made a bit of a snorting sound before turning back to his notebook. He flipped through a few pages in the textbook then let out a sigh, closing it and setting it aside. "I mean…we haven't really talked."

"Well, the only reason I haven't, even though my therapist suggest it, is because I really don't want to get into the reasons why you and I didn't work out," Zack replied. "I really don't. Because there are plenty of times where I've laid down in my hospital bed and thought about it and in the end I ended up angry but accepting. Because, in a way, I saw it coming."

Max's eyebrows furrowed together. "What?"

"I'm not saying that I knew that you were going to cheat on me—"

"—Zack—"

"—and I'm not saying that I would've cheated on you. I'm just saying that, realistically, high school relationships never really work out. And even if we _did _stay together, you and I both know that we wouldn't have stayed together for college." Zack stared straight ahead, blue-green eyes slowly moving around the gym as he took in the silence around him. "I'm not mad at you," he finally said. "Not really, anyway. More, like, confused, but, like I said, I don't really want to talk about it."

He struggled with the perfect timing of bringing it up, the doctors at the hospital had pushed him to do it when she visited; then there was the therapist he saw now that thought it was best if he was open and honest about everything. _That _used to be what he struggled with the most, being so open that people called him a jerk.

Now he wanted nothing more than to keep as much inside as he could.

"That's fine," Max agreed. "I don't really want to talk about it either." She reached up, smoothing her hair off her forehead. "I really am glad that you're back here, though. It was really bad, seeing you in the hospital like that. A guy that's able to talk to anyone about anything suddenly fading away like that…"

"Yeah, well, it happened and I'm back here, and I'm ready to move on," Zack dismissed her. He let out a breath, allowing his lips to move along with the blow, giving a raspberry. "What this place really needs is a food fight. We haven't had a good food fight in ages."

Max's laughter echoed throughout the empty gym, bouncing off the walls and enveloping them in each and every corner.

"And to answer your question, I'm waiting for Cody to finish with his student government meeting before we go to lunch," Zack explained. "And I have unscheduled period right now. This is probably the only quiet spot I could find other than a hall closet and…I've been banned from those." He looked at Max out of the corner of his eye and she pursed her lips before elbowing him in the side, both knowing what he was referring to. "Plus this homework is _really _putting me to sleep so I needed something to do."

Shaking her head, Max chuckled. "You haven't changed, Zack."

"That's what I was hoping, honestly." Zack packed up his things and put them into his backpack. "Because I need my money scheming brain to figure out how we're going to be going on a good senior trip." He rubbed his hands together, a slow smile worming its way onto his face. "Right now I have an idea with Hooters, but I'm not sure if—"

Shoving Zack on the arm, the brunette stood up, walking down the steps of the bleachers. Now Zack laughed as he picked up his backpack and started to follow her. "You don't like that idea? Because I had one that included supermodels and a pit of mud. If a bikini car wash didn't work out."

Max placed her hands over her ears and walked faster.

Zack laughed, sliding his hands into the pockets of his shorts. Once his laughter faded he was still smiling.

He hadn't done that in a while.

* * *

><p>Carey looked out at the empty ballroom as she held out the last note of her song. After what was a considerable amount of time she ended the note and turned around, motioning to the piano player that had worked alongside her for as long as she had been the singer at the Tipton.<p>

"Thanks Eric, we'll pick this up again tomorrow," she said to him, sliding off the stool that she had been perched upon. Lowering her voice, she walked over to him. "Maybe we can do something different than this classical music that Moseby wants us to work with." She rolled her eyes. "Snoresville."

"You've read my mind, Carey," Eric replied with a warm smile. "But I wasn't going to say anything." He stood up, gathering his sheet music. "I'll see you this time tomorrow if Moseby doesn't fire me."

"Moseby won't fire you," Carey reassured him.

"As much as I'd like to think that my job is that secure, this is Moseby we're talking about," Eric reminded her. "The man has threatened to fire you on the grounds that your sons even look at him. I'm sure my breathing hasn't helped," he joked. Carey laughed and patted Eric on the shoulder as he left the ballroom.

Carey ran her hands through her brown hair and left the ballroom after him. Instead of going up to the suite to get some housework done, she walked to the Tipton restaurant, meeting up with Patrick the waiter as he shuffled a couple of menus. He peered over the top of his glasses and studied her for a moment before standing up straight.

"I hope you don't expect me to forget the little situations your sons managed to have going on in my restaurant," he said to her.

Carey, used to those comments by that point, merely gave him a warm smile in reply. "And trust me, each and every time they do that, they get a swift and harsh punishment." As the corner of Patrick's lips curled, Carey smiled. "Is my table ready?"

"Yes and your guests are already waiting for you," Patrick said. He cleared his throat, gently lifting his nose into the air and waved for Carey to follow him across the restaurant. She did as she was told and strode across the restaurant and out into the patio where Kurt and Christian Manning were waiting for her. "Piece of advice, don't order the cheesecake. Don't ask, don't order."

"Got it." Giving him a thumbs up, Carey sat down in the chair that was left open for her. In the back of her mind she wondered what Zack could've done to the cheesecake only seconds before she scolded herself for thinking that. It was her idea that he take some time off of school so he could rest, she couldn't believe that as soon as the coast was clear he already went back to the wild and mischievous ways he was known for.

_Or maybe its wishful thinking, _she thought before she could stop herself. Her bright smile turned to a scowl as she sat down, resting her arms on the table top.

"Geez Carey, I know we haven't been on the best terms for years, but you could at least _try _to look happy whenever you're around me," Kurt commented, raising an eyebrow. Carey's scowl turned to a point look with half-lidded eyes. He threw a hand into the air. "At least I'm used to that one."

Christian laughed then covered his mouth with his hand, converting the laughter into a cough. "Sorry, that's really not funny."

"Are you kidding? We could have our own comedy hour." Carey picked up the menu and started to look over it. "I'm sure you guys are wondering how Zack's doing since school's started," she said, keeping her gaze on the fancy leather bound menu. "It's only his second day and that's all I've been asked by everyone I know."

"Can you blame them?" Christian pointed out. "He got so bad so fast; everyone around was worried when and he continued to do what he was doing and acted like nothing was wrong." He scratched the side of his neck, running his fingers over the stubble that spread over his jaw. "If it wasn't for his having that heart attack, who knows how bad it would've gotten."

Carey and Kurt both nodded but didn't respond otherwise. They had too much time to think about it when they were by themselves as well as when they were in the hospital to visit their eldest son. And while they had managed to see him so much they still hadn't really been able to talk to him about what had been going on. It was the elephant in the room that they couldn't ignore yet they couldn't get to come near them either. Throughout the summer all they did was cart Zack back and forth from his appointments, talk to doctors themselves to figure out what the best course of action was, and sit at the table, trying to get him to eat just a tiny bit more of food.

Carey ran her hands over her face as she thought about what Cody had asked her one time as she was reaching for the keys to her car, "why don't you let Zack drive himself? I'm sure he's ready to do it."

It had been a punishment in a way for Zack to have lost the ability to drive himself anywhere he wanted to go, because they had been too scared about what Zack would do if he were alone. Grounded without really having done anything wrong. Cody did his best to give his brother the times of having a normal life, going to Red Sox games together, going to the mall, playing in the Tipton Game Room, creating new ways to torture Moseby. Just so he would be able to do something else other than completely focus on getting better.

It was moments like that she wondered if they were going along the best course of action no matter what they would choose. She didn't know what to do, she hadn't been in that situation before and it scared her. Any decision they decided would affect him and everyone around them in many ways and not knowing the outcome was really starting to haunt her.

Kurt noticed her discomfort and shifted in his seat, clearing his throat. "The greatest thing was that we were able to afford the best hospitals that would take care of him." He rubbed his chin, like Christian had done before. "It was a shock when we were told that he was being transported to a different hospital. Especially knowing how expensive it would be."

Christian, who had ordered a beer before Carey arrived, picked up the brown glass bottle and took a sip. "Do you still not know who it was that made it possible?" He thought for a moment. "Tipton?"

"London Tipton probably doesn't even know what a hospital is," Carey said without a hint of malice in her tone. "She's been sheltered so much in her life that she probably had people sent _to _her. Wilfred was busy enough." She thought for a moment. "And Wilfred wouldn't have done it he barely knows Zack and Cody and last I've heard, he was too busy working with the stock market."

"What about the Jacksons then?" Kurt asked. He turned to Christian, whose eyebrows rose. "Aren't they able to get the money from their inheritance yet?"

Christian shook his head. "Not until they turn eighteen," he said. "Julius has used some of his for school; Riley and Rhuben don't turn eighteen for another couple of weeks. Besides, the turnaround time for that was too quick, especially since it's in an Australian bank." He tapped his fingers together. "But instead of trying to solve this mystery why don't we talk about what would be best for Zack as time goes on."

"Like?" Carey's resolve broke at that point and she felt the tears rise to her eyes once more. "What else could you or the three of us together, possibly think of that we haven't thought of already?" She wiped away the hot, angry tears. "How about we point out that, as his mother, I failed him. I didn't notice that things were going so badly until I get a call from the school that my seventeen year old son had a fucking heart attack!" The curse word slipped out of her mouth before she could stop herself, her composure completely breaking.

"Carey, it's not all your fault," Kurt said gently, yet firmly. "If you're going to blame yourself you may as well share the blame." Slouching in his seat, he crossed his legs at the knee. "They were at my place just as much as they were at the Tipton and I didn't notice anything either. There was one moment where he threw up, but it was after playing a game of basketball with Cody and they were playing hard. Other than that, he was as normal as ever. _I _didn't notice a thing."

Christian held out both of his hands as Carey opened her mouth to retort. The man's blue eyes shifted back and forth for a moment before he lowered them. "Blaming yourselves isn't going to help anyone. And before you ask, there were moments where I blamed myself too, especially with how much time both of them spend at my house." He gently shook his head. "That's all water under the bridge now and not something that you should focus on if you want to be a good sense of support for Zack." He paused. "_And _Cody. Just because Zack was the one that ended up in the hospital doesn't mean that it doesn't affect Cody too."

"Because he's his brother," Kurt agreed.

"Because he's his _twin _brother," Christian corrected. "Even you two know that that's a special bond between the two of them. And as much as they've fought and wanted to be their own person, they probably wouldn't know what to do without each other." His eyes shifted from Carey to Kurt.

Carey nodded, bringing her hands up to her face and wiping the tears away once more. _Wasn't that what started this whole thing? _Once again she thought the question she didn't want to think about but couldn't stop it before it got there. _Zack and Cody have always been fighting for your attention and you've given it to them in different ways. With Cody you were patient and sympathetic, but Zack always needed a little ore tough love. Kurt was the one that had been there for Zack, not me…and he had tried tell me that when he was in the hospital._

Carey picked up the napkin that was on the table and unfolded it, using it to dab at her eyes. It hid her face well as she felt a new wave of tears come up at the realization. _You can't focus on that now. You just have to focus on things getting better. With Zack, with your relationship with him, with the family in general. You have to do this for him. For them._

"We just have to let him know that we all care and we'll do our best to make sure he gets the help he needs," Christian continued. "If there's anything that you guys need, let me know and I'll do my best to help out."

"Thanks, man." Kurt clapped him on the shoulder. "It means a lot."

"Yes, thank you," Carey agreed, the tears finally stopping. She thought she had cried all of the tears in the first couple of weeks. But still found herself tearing up every now and then when she would look at him.

Because how could a mother who spent so much time with her children not notice when one was killing himself?

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Looking at it already, this story will be longer than the first one. I have some side plots for everyone, some sharing plots, so I hope I do a good job of balancing those around Zack's. Also, not everything with Zack is going to be introspective and dark and angsty, there'll be plenty of lighthearted moments too.

Chapters get longer after this one.

**Cheers**

**-Riles**


	5. Ups and Downs

**.:Chapter Four:.**

_Ups and Downs  
><em>

* * *

><p>The days where Zack wasn't going to school he knew he would absolutely hate.<p>

Not only was it that he didn't know what to do with all of that free time, didn't like not knowing what his friends were doing while he was at school—what jokes were he missing, did someone trip and fall in the cafeteria, did he miss Miss. Tutweiller's next spiel about the boyfriend that had broken up with her, was there some sort of scandal around the school that he missed?—but that he was aware of how much he was being watched.

He had his therapist appointments he needed to go to, doctors appointments to get his weigh ins, and he had to be sure to keep his food journal, though this time he had his parents looking through his entries. It was days like this he wasn't sure what to write down.

_I ate barely half of what was on my plate? But what do you expect when I have people shoving food down my thrown at each and every turn? _With a grunt, Zack leaned back, resting his head against his pillows, staring up at the ceiling. With one knee propped up, holding up his notebook, he listened to the silence of the hotel. The hum of the refrigerator, the honking car horns on the street below, the otherwise silence of the Tipton hotel that he wasn't used to. _So what am I supposed to write when nothing has been going on? _He continued to stare at the ceiling, taking in slow, deep breaths.

And he continued to sit there for a few moments before picking up his pen and starting to write in the notebook. It was like his therapist had said; don't worry about what it was that he wanted to say or how it came out. Just say it.

**_September 10,_**

_I really don't know what I want to say. I mean, is there really anything to say? By now everyone knows what I've been through. And I mean everyone. All I get now are sympathetic looks, smiles that I'm not sure are even real, and more attention than I ever wanted. Don't get me wrong, the attention from girls is nice, but I'd rather have that attention from being attractive, not because they all pity me in some way._

_In fact, I'm not even sure if it's coming from being pitied or if they're being completely honest that they're glad I'm back. All I know is that people are acting weird compared to the way they had acted before. Even the Drew Crew had said that it wasn't the same since I was gone and Drew hasn't spoken to me since the time Cody and I ditched them shortly after we first got to Boston. Not that that's surprising, he's been getting into big trouble lately. _

_Rumor has it that they started to fall into petty crime and were brought into the juvenile detention center more often than when they're at school._

_I can't believe I wanted to be in a group like that. Cody either. We really treated Max and Tapeworm like crap and even when I didn't like Max then, it still sucked seeing how hurt she was. Of course she wouldn't let me forget it when we were dating. She reminded me about it almost on a daily basis. I know she found some sort of entertainment over how embarrassed I got, but it was something I really didn't want to think about. It was insecurities, I guess. As a kid and up through middle school all you want to do is fit in and have everyone around you think you were cool._

_It ran my life for a while, only wanting girls' attention of course, until I realized the best thing was to be myself. And Max liked me anyway and that helped a lot. I had friends when I was being myself and that was even better. I still have my friends and that's the best thing of all. Knowing that I can still talk to Max about things that happened between the two of us, knowing she understood that there were still so many things that is hard for me to say is good. Even though things ended badly, I can see her being a friend of mine for the rest of my life._

_I hope they're all my friends for the rest of my life. With graduation at the end of the year, I know we'll all be going our separate ways. We haven't talked about it, but it's gonna happen. Cody, Bailey, and Tapeworm will probably go to the biggest Ivy League schools we could ever imagine; Crystal will probably start going to UMass where her father works, Sydney will probably start to rule the world as he's already working with professors and co-writing papers and studies all while still going to middle school for social connections, and taking some high school classes; Moose might stay up in the city but I don't know him well enough to guess; Riley and Rhuben…they'd probably go back to Australia like Julius did. I don't know how he and Maddie manage a long distance relationship but they're doing better than I thought anyone would._

_Must be hard though, knowing that you'd only get to see that person a few times a year as opposed to as much as you want to. Not even video chats fill the void much, from what Maddie has told me anyway. I don't want to hear everything about their relationship, I can't. I wouldn't be able to handle it. Even though I know it's impossible, there's a tiny part of me, that eleven year old version of me that still hopes she'll turn around and not see me as that little kid that followed her around with a flirtatious smile and giving as much of my heart to her as I could._

_I never really kidded myself either; I knew there was a slim to low chance that she would ever see me that way. But it's hard for me to take 'no' as an answer. I never pursued in a creepy way, Mom taught me what was appropriate and what wasn't when it came to dating and she really drilled into my head that 'no' meant 'no' and to back off if that happened. But then we fell into the pattern of it being a joke and I guess that's what kept me going for a while. I mean, I'm not saying that I don't flirt, because I do. And I do think that most girls are attractive and I will admit that growing up I could be a jerk about that sort of thing._

_Like it was some sort of a competition, that each of the girls I dated had to be better than the last._

_I'm surprised Max managed to stay with me for so long. Not that I'm saying that we should've broken up sooner, but she had taken so much crap from me and I didn't realize how badly I was treating her. Not that I'm the only one that's guilty, our communication wasn't that great. If we weren't fighting about something, mostly how she was worried about my flirtatious attitude, we were just making out..and more…_

_Note to self; apologize to Cody for constantly kicking him out of the room and making him sleep in the hall closet._

_We just needed to grow up. I didn't think it was anything that we could've stopped, it would've happened eventually. The sad thing is that I want a relationship. I want to be with someone that I know won't cheat on me, where I know I can show my flaws and not have it matter. In the end I'd like to get married, but I'm not going to lie and say that I'm not afraid of ending up divorced like Mom and Dad. I've come to terms with that recently; I'm scared of how things are going to end up. That's why I like the chase and as soon as I win I'm not as interested as I used to be. But when I look at the happy couples at school, or hear about how happy Bailey and Moose had been when they were still in Kettlecorn, or even when Cody and Rhuben were together and Cody and Crystal were together, even as happy as Tapeworm and Max are now, I want that._

_ I used to think Max could be that…but we probably would've broken up anyway when we graduated. She'd go onto bigger and better things than the rest of us could imagine. Probably a basketball scholarship to whatever school she ends up at. _

_I guess other than that, there's not much to talk about. It's almost the sixteenth which means it's almost Riley's and Rhuben's birthday. Cody's and my birthday was last month…and it kinda sucked. I was in the hospital for evaluation, for my birthday. I wasn't allowed to have anyone other than family come visit me. But I did get some cards and presents and stuff from my friends so that was cool. I got some pretty sweet stuff._

_But it still wasn't fair. Cody was able to spend our birthday with everyone and I was stuck in the hospital. Yes, I'm not going to say that it's been easy trying to turn back and eat everything again. I've relapsed here and there. I didn't tell anyone else other than my Mom, Dad, and Cody that was why I couldn't be around a lot. It's embarrassing. I don't want anyone else to know._

_Well…I mean, I know that Rhu—and the rest of the Jacksons—understand more than anyone else, but I still don't want anyone to know. Either that or I care too much about what other people think._

_That's probably it._

_I just never noticed until now._

**~Zack**

_*PS – I'm supposed to keep a food journal, and I still do, I just don't want to alarm anyone with how little it was. So I'm going to go get something to eat now and then I'll head out to my appointment later._

Closing his notebook, Zack tossed it aside and rolled out of bed. He left his bedroom and went into the kitchen. Opening the refrigerator he looked around, trying to see what would catch his interest. Not that there was much to look forward to, his mother still wasn't a very good cook. Not that it mattered; his appetite still hadn't come back. More often than not he could eat but still couldn't taste anything. But that didn't mean it was impossible for him to taste how bad his mother's food was.

Opting for an apple, Zack took a large bite out of it as he walked over to the window and looked out at the Boston street. The apple was tasteless, as per usual, but at least he was taking that step to getting better.

Besides, it would give him something to do when he wasn't too busy drowning in his thoughts over what had happened before.

Especially because no matter whether he kept his head above water, he still felt like he was drowning.

* * *

><p>The next time Zack was at school was on Friday and he couldn't help the smile that slid onto his face when Homeroom came around. Homeroom wasn't only to get the news about what was going on around school. It was time to get some homework done, time to hang out with friends, to try and figure out what was going on with the class for the upcoming year, and a good way to learn gossip. He and Max normally skipped homeroom, having Cody trick Miss. Tutweiller into thinking they were there.<p>

If he was going to make a change, he needed to stay by focusing as much of his attention on school as he could. The idea of AP History was daunting, but he was going to do everything he could to graduate as he could. That was his main goal, to be able to be treated normally, go back to school, and graduate to prove that he wasn't going to relapse, he could take care of himself, and that everyone around him needed to know he was strong enough to do so.

"Good morning, everyone," Miss. Tutweiller said as she came into the room, a bright smile on her face. She paused, dropping her bag onto the table when she spotted Zack. "Good to see you, Zack."

"It's good to see you, too, Miss. Tutweiller," Zack replied with a bright smile.

Then his smile faded at her next words, "How are you feeling?"

"Fine." The word was short and filled with bite. Directly to his left and right, Zack could see Cody and Tapeworm make faces that expressed their discomfort. He could tell that the rest of his friends were either trying to ignore it or made faces as well. As if he was the only one that was annoyed by it. _Can't people stop asking me that for once? _

"That's good to hear." Miss. Tutweiller checked the time then clasped her hands together. "I hope you guys managed to get through the first week of your senior year with no troubles. I remember my senior year." She placed her hand over her heart and looked off to the side as if staring out a window. "It was really hard. I was taking all of these AP classes and then my boyfriend broke up with me the first month to go out with that _tramp_, Trixie!" Her eyes flashed for a moment as she frowned. "But I got my revenge at Prom when she—"she suddenly stopped and cleared her throat, noticing that her students were all staring at her with varying degrees of interest. "But that's beside the point."

"If it was beside the point would she keep bringing it up?" Zack heard Rhuben murmur behind him and smiled when she, Max, Riley, and Crystal started laughing quietly.

"I think the lady just hasn't found anyone that deserves all of the love and attention she obviously gives to those that she chooses to go out with," Moose remarked.

"I know the feeling," Riley remarked under her breath.

Making a face, Zack turned in his seat to look at the southern boy and Moose shrugged in reply, giving back a friendly smile. Zack's blue eyes moved around his classmates. Not a lot of them were listening to Miss. Tutweiller and he couldn't help but notice that some of the girls had given goofy smiles and started to giggle with each other as soon as they heard what Moose had to say.

And Zack felt that familiar twinge of jealousy that he felt when he heard that Cody had gotten onto the basketball team. He didn't know, particularly, why it came back. Maybe because the boy was new and seemed to have everything in his life together while Zack's was falling apart? He wasn't sure.

Resting his cheek in his hand, Zack listened as Miss. Tutweiller went through the spiel of what was to be expected of that school year as they all worked towards graduation. They had to think about the SATs, getting started on their college applications as soon as possible, to talk to the guidance counselor if things were hard, to talk to anyone if things got hard, and to make sure grades were being kept up, that nothing slipped as they continued forward.

Then things got to the part that Zack was really interested in, the things that would keep him feeling like he was a normal teenager, that he was still a member of the school. "Now, I know that you guys want to talk about the more pressing matters. So I figured that I'd let your class presidents start the conversation and I'll sit aside and supervise when you guys need it." She waved a hand over towards Cody and Bailey. "Cody? Bailey? The floor is yours."

Zack watched as his brother got up from his seat, pushing up the sleeves of his shirt as he went. It was the most confident Zack had ever seen his twin brother and he was really proud of him. After being told that Cody and Bailey had both won being the presidents of their class and Crystal being nominated as their vice-president—though Zack was sure it was because she could keep the two of the smartest classmates from trying to outdo each other—Zack knew things for that year were going to go well.

"Alright, so one of the things we need to bring up is what the theme of our float for Spirit Week is going to be," Bailey said. She clasped her hands together as she addressed the class. "As you know, the fact is that we're not going to have a car for our float unless we absolutely need it, because its' tradition. And we happen to know that the theme this year is going to be Fairy Tales, so as soon as we can come up with an idea and the sooner we get started on the float, then we can be ready in time for Spirit Week and Homecoming Weekend."

"But what we also need to be aware of is the fact that we don't seem to have any money," Cody added. "The money that we have for our class budget has dwindled since the last year and not only do we need it for the budget on our float, but it's also for our senior trip, if we ever decide where we're going to go. But right now, we need to think of some fundraising ideas that'll give us more to work with." He motioned between himself and Bailey. "So if you have any ideas, please let us know."

"I had an idea, though I don't know if y'all city slickers will come along with it," Moose said, raising a hand into the air. "Apart from Bailey, I mean. Being from the same place I'm sure she'll understand where I'm coming from."

Bailey crossed her arms over her chest and waited patiently for what Moose had to say. She looked a little irritated though, still interested. Maybe it was all and act? Zack wasn't sure. All he knew was that the two of them had used to date and then Bailey had broken up with him when Moose had tried to show that he knew what was best for her. Clearly that didn't work out well or else they probably would've still been together.

And yet, there was still something that was hard between them, anyone around could sense it.

"Why don't we have an old fashioned carnival?" Moose suggested. He leaned forward, crossing his arms as he leaned forward, resting his weight against the top of his desk. "Or a festival? Anything that we'll be able to take some things to sell as well as selling the tickets to the carnival in the first place? We can raffle off some prizes or being able to dunk some of the teachers or something. I'm sure y'all would be able to find some teachers that people will want to dunk in water."

Bailey's eyebrows rose in interest as she exchanged a glance with Cody, who appeared surprised as well.

"I like that idea, actually," Rhuben agreed, pointing at her with her pen. "I mean, Fall is a big thing here in Boston, from what I've seen, yeah?" She leaned back in her seat, nodding over towards Moose though she was now speaking towards Bailey and Cody. "It'd be a good tie-in for Homecoming sine it's in October."

"_And,_ like he said, there are plenty of teachers I'd like to soak," Max agreed. She brought hand up to her mouth, snickering, as her eyes moved over towards their teacher, who sat at her desk, chewing on a fingernail as her eyes were glued to a romance novel.

Moose's smile widened as a low murmur came over the room in response to his suggestion. Even Bailey gave him a warm smile and a nod. "We'll keep that in mind," Cody said, his voice coming out in a slight grin. His jaw was tightened, showing off his irritation. At least Zack knew it was that. He knew his twin brother well enough, even better than the back of his hand. "If there are any other ideas that you guys have, please feel free to pass it along to me, Bailey, or Crys, and we'll go from there. Thanks."

He and Bailey sat back down and Miss. Tutweiller, who had looked up from her romance novel, started to bring up the news for the rest of the class, such as the soccer game later that afternoon as well as what was coming in the next few weeks.

Finally, homeroom was over and Zack found himself going through his classes in a bit of a blur. He was doing his best to lie low and keep away from the questions and the stares and even when he kept his gaze on his feet or at the teacher; he knew there were whispers going on around him. Did he really look that bad?

When he looked into the mirror, he saw the chubby fourteen year old kid he used to be, doing his best to let his attitude, confidence, and attention from girls keep his chin up. Did other people see that too? The fourteen year old kid that was doing his best to keep up appearances until his seventeen year old self felt he had no choice but to expel his emotions in a self-destructive way?

His therapist thought so, anyway. That all of his insecurities had started as far back as when he was fourteen years old and just came to a hear when Cody took over his spot on the basketball team. There were a lot of different things that culminated that ultimately caused him to explode and he didn't want to think much about it anymore if it weren't for his therapist wanting him to directly deal with his issues.

The day went by slowly and he was practically dying of boredom and sleep by the time lunch came around. In fact, he had been planning on skipping lunch and going to lie down in the nurse's office to get some time to himself, but hesitated at his locker.

_Would that really help anything? Or will it just cause more people to talk about me even more than they already have been? _He continued to stare into his locker as the thoughts moved through his head. So much so that he couldn't entirely focus and didn't notice his name being called until a finger was pressed into his side, just underneath his ribs, causing him to jump.

Recognizing the poke, Zack regained his composure and flipped his hair out of his face before turning to face Riley. "Can't keep your hands off me?"

"You wish," Riley replied automatically. "But the fact that you didn't listen when I called you name for the past minute proves that you really are a blonde, yeah?" Her eyes orbited in the familiar movement of her rolling her eyes before they lit up. "Please tell me that you watched the Red Sox game yesterday? I heard they royally crushed the Rays. Sorry I had to miss it, yeah?"

Zack smiled. He had forgotten that Riley enjoyed the Red Sox just as much as he and Cody did. In fact, he was surprised he forgot, considering how he, Cody, Riley, and Rhuben all got tickets to a Sox-Yankees game back when Mr. Moseby had caught what was supposed to be the game winning ball, interfering with the play and causing the Yankees to win. After distancing themselves from Mr. Moseby while he went to fetch a hat and sunglasses to try and hide his identity, Riley had gone stark raving mad at how the game had ended, before forgetting about it completely to help regain Moseby's reputation before looking forward to the next game.

"Ellsbury was great." Zack closed his locker and crossed his arms, leaning against it. "Did a good job of making sure there weren't a lot of RBI's coming in for the Rays. He got a couple of grand slams too, which is a surprise considering how bad his pitching was the last game."

"Ace! Though I'm sure Big Papi was able to pick up the slack." Riley waved a hand, not appearing to be worried. "He's about to beat the home run record as it is. Hope he doesn't retire too soon, or else it would be the end of that beauty era." She laughed lightly, tucking her strand of red hair behind her ear. "Then again, as long as Moseby doesn't catch another ball, I don't think there'd be anything else to worry about."

Zack laughed in agreement. "Though I have to admit, it was fun to watch him get bombarded by those crazed fans." He let out a wistful sigh. "I don't think there'll be anything sweeter."

"How about having lunch in the cafeteria?" Riley gestured over his shoulder.

"That really depends on whether or not you're asking me to eat it or eat with you."

"Frankly, I don't care if I have to tie you down and force feed it to you. You're eating something."

Zack cocked an eyebrow. "That's kinky," he remarked. "Didn't know you were into that sort of thing." He waved a hand. "I kinda pegged you as the Disney-Princess-Wants-A-Prince thing. But if you don't want to wait, I'm always here, Sweet Thang."

Riley's face flushed. "Firstly, waiting for someone isn't my thing. If I want something I get it. Secondly, how many times do I have to tell you that I'm not going to go out with you?" She growled through gritted teeth. "I know you're a blonde, but you're not dumb." She held up a finger and jabbed him directly in the center of the chest, causing him to laugh and curl in on himself, trying to protect himself from a barrage of attacks. "And _stop _calling me Sweet Thang."

"Habits are hard to break, Sweet Thang."

With a roll of her eyes and a toss of her hands into the air, Riley shook her head as she started to walk by him. "And to think I actually missed having you around." Zack fell in step with her, heading towards the cafeteria. His stomach rumbled though he had no intention of actually eating. Not a lot, anyway. It would hurt his stomach too much to try and force himself to eat more than he was used to.

"As long as you admit it, I don't mind," Zack replied.

Riley let out a humming sound before smoothing her hair back off her forehead, revealing both of her eyes. "I have no problems admitting it, it's just when you take it far enough to get a big head that's a problem." She reached out and gently shoved him on the arm, causing him to lift his foot and twist it to the side, hitting her in the butt. "Ow!" Her cry of pain mixed with her laughter. "Quit it, boofhead!" She reached out and jabbed him in the sides under his ribs, causing him to jump once more.

"Stop that!" He pushed Riley away from him this time, flipping his hair out of his face once more. "By the way, what do you want for your birthday?" Riley appeared confused for a moment. "It's six days away, you know."

"I know, I just don't put a lot of thought into my birthday," she said quickly, dismissively. Zack's eyebrows furrowed together and he leaned forward to get a good look at her face. A hard expression had fallen over it and she appeared to be lost in thought as she walked along beside him.

_Note to self, ask Cody for birthday gift ideas, _Zack thought. The two rounded the corner and Riley let out a startled cry, crashing into Moose and falling to the floor. The southern quickly reached out and pulled her to her feet in one quick tug of her hand.

"Woops, sorry darlin' I didn't see you there," Moose quickly apologized.

"It's apples," Riley replied. She jerked her thumb over to Zack. "I was in too big a hurry trying to get away from this bloke; I wasn't watching where I was going."

Zack ignored her dig, his gaze shifting to the girl behind him as she turned the corner. She caught his gaze and he flashed her a flirtatious smile, grinning as she blushed and ducked her head, hurrying by them. _Maybe I don't look that bad._ "Aren't you headed to lunch?" He asked the southern boy, noticing he was heading off in the opposite direction of the room where the rest of the student body was gathering. Hopefully he'd be able to stall enough so that he could go off to the nurse's office.

"I have to talk to the soccer coach first," Moose replied. "Are you coming?"

Zack eyebrows shot upwards in confusion. "To what?" He did his best to stall for time. He had only planned on going straight back to the Tipton after school, so that he could get at least some of the attention off of him. Besides, he was already irritated knowing that he wouldn't be able to participate in any sports and knowing the game was that early—as the team had been practicing since early summer—was making it even harder.

"The game," Riley reminded him. "The soccer game. The first one is today." She and Moose exchanged a glance and when she turned back to Zack, it was like she was looking right through him, knowing he didn't plan on going.

"You don't want to miss me dominating the field do you?" Moose asked with a grin, placing his hands on his hips. Zack was suddenly irritated by the gesture, noticing that it seemed to be Moose's relaxed stance. There was something mocking about it. "Actually, soccer is a lot like the games we play on the farm to keep the pigs that we weren't trying to fatten up in shape. Only, instead of a soccer ball we used a head of lettuce."

"That's really not that surprising, honestly."

"I hope to see y'all there. Bailey already said she'll be taking pictures for the yearbook and I believe Max and Tapeworm were going to go, too." At Moose's glance, Riley quickly explained that she, Rhuben, and Crystal had cross country practice to go to but would try to catch as much of the game as they could, especially as Patrick and Noah were going to be playing.

_You didn't try that hard to go to any of the games I played in, _Zack thought before he could stop himself. He let out an exasperated sigh as his stomach churned.

What did he have to do to keep his good day going?

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Whew, I've been working on this chapter for a while. But grad school stuff, fall break, visiting family, and work have all gotten in the way. So thanks for being patient as I worked on it.

Next chapter starts some of the plots of the other characters as the story goes on. Most of the story will still be from Zack's POV, but there will be others. Plus it brings in characterization/character development for the other characters are it goes on.

**Cheers**

**-Riles**


	6. Country Boy, City Boy

**.:Chapter Five:.**

_Country Boy, City Boy  
><em>

* * *

><p>"Mr. and Mrs. Pickett, y'all didn't have to go to all of these lengths for me," Moose said as he tossed his napkin on his plate. He turned his head and smiled at his Mrs. Pickett as she walked around the table, gathering the dishes before disappearing into the kitchen. "You really didn't."<p>

"It's not every day that you score a hat-trick in a soccer game, Moose," Mr. Pickett reminded him. "And from what Bay has told us, you did even better than that."

Moose shrugged modestly and Bailey reached out, smacking him on the arm. "Don't be so modest, Moose, I got it all on camera!" She wiggled the digital camera that was sitting next to her back and forth to emphasize her point. "All of your three goals. It'll probably make the front page of the next school newspaper."

Moose grinned at her. "If my Haybale has anything to say about it, then I definitely will be." He turned back to the plate of cake that Mr. Pickett placed down in front of him and his eyes widened. "Cake too? I really don't need to have all of this just for my first soccer game. Just having you guys allow me to stay in your house for the school year…I can't even thank you for that."

"No thanks are necessary, Moose you know that," Mr. Pickett replied. He sat down at the head of the table. "Our families have worked together back in Kettlecorn for years and they've helped us a lot when those tornadoes ran through, letting us stay there while we got our farm back on track. So when we heard that you wanted to try some school out here in Boston, there was no hesitation to have you stay here."

"Well, Bailey made it sound like a really great place to live. I've always wanted to see what city life had to offer, seeing the tourists that came through. And I'm making so many friends here already and I know Bailey, so that made things a lot easier." Reaching out, Moose picked up his fork and slid it into the spongy cake. He placed the bite into his mouth and smiled his thanks at the Picketts before continuing. Once he was finished with dessert he went up to his room—the Pickett's guest room—to get his homework done for that night.

He had gotten through most of it when Bailey had knocked on the doorframe to his room and walked in. Glancing over his shoulder, Moose watched as she sat down on the end of the bed and crossed her arms. He sighed, lowering his feet from the desktop and turned to face her. "Yes?"

"Why do I get the feeling that you were lying through your teeth down there?" Bailey asked him point blank.

Moose was taken aback for a moment. Then again, he shouldn't have been too surprised. Bailey Pickett had always been one that spoke her mind. It had even surprised him to know how much force she had put into her breakup with him when he tried so hard to keep it going. Apparently he was holding her back? All he wanted was what was best for her and he could say that until he was blue in the face, but at least they were still friends. However, he had no idea how she had been able to see right through what he was saying to her parents. Then again, she was the smartest person he knew so it wasn't as if he, in a way, didn't see it coming at some point.

"How'd you know?" He asked.

Bailey gave him a pointed look. "Not only because I know a lot about psychology and body language—which came to be very useful when our cows stopped giving milk—but because I know you. We've been friends since we were little, and you've lied for me whenever we got in trouble. I think I know when you're not being exactly truthful." Her face then softened. "What's wrong?

Moose let out a short sigh, blowing his hair off his forehead. "It's not that there's anything _wrong _really," he said slowly. "But that I feel…incredibly out of place," he admitted. "Don't get me wrong, the city is fine. Though I have a lot of complaints about the way people get around the city,"—Bailey giggled—"it's just not the farm. Everyone I knew was back there and now…I'm alone."

A snort escaped Bailey's lips. She crossed her legs and rested her hands on her lap, facing him fully. "I think there are about a hundred girls at the school that would beg to differ. If not jump your bones as soon as they look at you." Moose gave her a blank look. "You can't tell me that you haven't noticed that every girl is drooling over you. I don't believe you if you don't."

Moose shrugged. "I haven't noticed," he said honestly before giving her a smile. "I was too busy thinking about you." Bailey sighed, her shoulders slumping. "I know, you don't want to get back together, but I can't help how I feel."

"I know. But you're going to have to get over me at some point. Try going out with someone, you're not going to meet anyone other than me and the others if you don't try." She brushed her hair back behind her shoulders. "I mean, after _this _soccer game there's bound to be a lot more girls talking to you now."

Eyebrow quirking, Moose turned back to his desk, looking over his math homework. "And something tells me it'll give Zack even more of a reason to hate me."

"Zack? He doesn't hate you."

Moose begged to differ. Ever since he had stepped foot on the campus of the high school, to visit Bailey and get a tour of the school the year before, it was as if the older of the Martin twins couldn't stand his existence. Cody had done a good job of making him feel welcome, as he was told from anyone, he was the more personable twin, despite how popular Zack was. Though he couldn't really put a lot against the older of the twins, when they first met Zack was on the tail end of his eating disorder, very close to the time where he would pass out in the middle of the floor. In fact, Moose had pretty quickly seen that there was something wrong with him and had gently tried to point it out during that one ill fated science class, and it didn't help.

Then having talked about it later in the gym, being the one that had been there and helped him when he had a heart attack probably didn't help either. Zack was clearly a headstrong guy and didn't like to be babied or treated like he couldn't handle things himself so it probably had put him on the blonde's shit list. He was used to it in a way, as he and many of the teenage males back in Kettlecorn got into competitions all the time to see who was the better calf handler, who was the best pig roper, who could put the most amount of hay bales into the backs of their father's trucks the quickest, really stupid things like that.

_I guess things are sort of the same in the city, _Moose thought, tapping his chin with his pen. _Just different competitions._

"I'll admit that Zack can be very competitive, but I think that he's just trying to readjust to things," Bailey said gently. "Don't take it personally. He's a great guy once you get to know him." She paused. "You know, when he's not manipulative, trying everything he can to make money, cheating off your homework, or—"

"—Trying to survive," Moose interrupted. "At this point it should be the only thing he should focus on." He glanced at Bailey out of the corner of his eye. "Just out of curiosity…I know that everyone has their flaws, but if he's like that…then why are you all friends with him."

Bailey gave a gentle smile. "Because without Zack, our group would fall apart."

* * *

><p>Finishing up his homework, Cody closed his books and set them aside, placing them neatly on top of his bedside table. After double checking to be sure that he had everything needed, he flopped back onto his bed and picked up a WWE Magazine, waiting for dinner. There was going to be a massive RAW event at the end of that week and he didn't intend to miss it, so he needed to catch up on the wrestlers that were going to be participating.<p>

Flipping a few pages past the table of contents, Cody glanced over the pages, a slight smile tugging at his lips. As much as he had matured over the years, taking everything in academic and his future so seriously, professional wrestling and everything that had to do with it was something he would never get tired of. He didn't care if people said that it was fake, it was one of his and Zack's favorite sports to watch. And as their lives were starting to separate as they went into their own interests, it was one of the few things—apart from messing with Moseby—that kept them together.

Shifting his gaze, Cody looked across his bedroom over at Zack, who was chewing on the end of his pencil, face screwed up in concentration as he worked on his AP history homework. Things had really changed between the two of them as time had gone on, and while he knew that Zack's eating disorder wasn't his fault, he still couldn't help but wonder if there was anything he could do to keep himself it from happening.

_Like what? _He thought. _Forced him to eat? That wouldn't have done anything but driven him further away. And he didn't listen when you tried to talk to him about being on the basketball team. If anything, I think that just made it worse. _Tilting his head back, Cody rested it on the pillow behind him, gently shaking his head. And there he went again, most of his thought, even as he tried to commiserate with his brother, ended up with him basically thinking as many negative things about him as he could. Blaming it all on Zack.

That was a natural reaction, as the doctors had told him. To be so confused that he wasn't sure which was the right way to think. But things weren't supposed to be happening this way. Zack was supposed to be the strong one, that one that didn't let anything get to him. He had perfected his look of nonchalance whenever a teacher yelled or he got some sort of disciplinary action set against him, to appear as if he didn't care whenever their mother was laying down the law about something…

No, he supposed the latter wasn't entirely true. If Zack _hadn't _had everything get to him, then he would've said all of those things to her when he was in the hospital, to be taken away for treatment the next day. Even Cody hadn't noticed what Zack had said, completely thrown off when Zack had finally expressed his grievances of being the one that always got in trouble, rarely had positive reinforcement, and felt like he was ignored and had to act out as a way to get her attention.

_I tried so hard for things to be the same between us, _Cody thought. _I tried to help Mom be easier on him so many times. I felt bad when he got in trouble and did my best to make him feel better. Maybe that's something he hated too. _Cody hadn't realized he was staring at his brother so much until a pillow came flying out of the air and smacked Cody in the face.

"Ow!"

"That's what you get for staring at me like I'm some sort of a freak," Zack replied. He lowered his notebook on his lap. "Did you want something?"

"Uh." Cody pulled himself up into a sitting position. Should he tell Zack what he had just been thinking about? Or bother him with more things he didn't need to worry about. "I was just wondering if you wanted some help with your homework. I know that some of the things that they make you do in AP classes can be pretty difficult. I mean, in my class I've got a project due at the end of the next week already."

Zack shook his head. "I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yes." There was a slight edge to his tone and Cody immediately backed down from. He knew how angry Zack could get when he was pushed to the brink of his annoyance. And being pressured for help on schoolwork—if he didn't have a female tutor—was one of the things that could quickly piss him off. Zack sighed, sitting up straight as well. "Seriously, Cody, don't worry. I already told you that it wasn't your fault."

_Mhm. _But Cody didn't believe that for a second. _Are you telling me that to make me feel better or is it something to make you feel better? _Resting his chin in his hand he continued to study his brother. Outwardly, the only thing that was different about him was his face was still a bit too thin, just as it was when he was able to see each of his brother's individual ribs poking out against his skin. He acted the same, if not a little bit more guarded than usual.

"Seriously, quit staring at me," Zack continued. The corner of his mouth turned up. "There's not much to look at anyway."

Cody frowned. "That's not funny."

"Oh come on, it was a little bit funny."

"Not really."

"Then you need to get a sense of humor." Zack looked at his notebook one more then tossed it aside. "I'm definitely not getting that done tonight, I'll finish it later." He got up, stretching his arms over his head. The bottom of his shirt lifted and Cody couldn't help but notice how concave his brother's stomach was.

It was true.

There really _wasn't _much of his brother to look at.

The thought alone made Cody sick.

Instead of dwelling on it even further, Cody got to his feet and tossed the wrestling magazine aside. "Hey, let's go down to the arcade and get some gaming in." He rubbed his hands together. "I'm about ready to defend my high score on Malicious Martial Arts."

Zack snorted. "Ha! I'm the one that holds the high score on every game down there, Little Brother, I think I can defend my title a little bit longer." Rolling over his bed, he reached into his bed side table's open drawer and pulled out a long tube sock. It jingled with each quickly movement, alerting Cody that he had more than his fair share of quarters inside. "Especially with as many days as I'm going to have off of school."

"Right."

Zack and Cody walked out of their room and through the main area of their suite as Carey stood at the stove, stirring something at the pot that bubbled on top. Cody gulped, already able to smell the food starting to burn, and quickly slid out the front door of the suite as Carey called after them to remind them that dinner would be ready in an hour. Or—even Carey grimaced as a bit of smoke started to pour out the top—within two hours.

"Let's get some room service while we're down there," he murmured to Zack as they went to the elevator. "I'd rather rack up another large bill before I eat more of that."

Zack nodded in agreement. "So you don't think that you'll drop one of your after school clubs and organizations to make dinner a few times a week do you?" He asked. "I mean, I know what willingly starving feels like and let me tell you, I'd gladly do it again if I don't have to have mom's cooking."

Cody glared at him.

"Geez, it's a joke!" The older of the twins threw his hands into the air. "Can I not make a joke about anything?" He flicked his hair out of his face with a quick flick of his head. "Rhu was the one that told me tha thavin ga good sense of humor about this sort of thing makes it easier to get through."

The flash of irritation and bitterness immediately flashed through Cody before h could stop it. Yes, things were better between the two of them now that they had some time to talk things through while Zack was getting treatment, but it was still something they didn't talk about. They didn't talk about her abuse by the hands of Robert, how she felt moving in with her uncle, or what her having anorexia was like. In fact, most things about her life she was good at not speaking about, he was sure she knew a lot more about him than he did about her.

"Well, at least you have someone you can talk to through this whole thing," Cody murmured. "If it helps you get better, that's good."

Zack smiled. "You're jealous."

"I'm not jealous."

"Buddy, you're the one that gets the most jealous out of the two of you. You freak out if someone gets a better grade than you. You can't stand the idea of Bailey potentially having a higher GPA than you do. And you can't watch the show _Risk It All _anymore after our failed attempt at it because you got so competitive that you caused me to lose it all." Zack lifted a finger. "And you're jealous of everyone else that has been able to win."

"So I like to succeed at everything I do," Cody defended himself. "Is there a problem with that?"

"No, but you need to chill sometimes," Zack said calmly. The doors to the elevator opened and the boys went into the arcade to find it mostly empty. As it was a school day the kids were in their suite getting their homework done.

At least they wouldn't be bugged for a while.

"So let's see how chill you are after I beat you round after round," Zack continued as he walked over to the arcade game. He dropped the tube sock onto the top of the machine and pulled out a few quarters. He handed some over to Cody and the younger of the twins was relieved to feel the warmth from his brother's fingertips.

He remembered lying in his hospital bed next to Zack, comforting his big brother before he had to leave. He had grabbed onto Zack's hand and was scared to feel how cold and bony it was. The iciness had seeped through his palm and up through his body, giving him a good look into the pain and loneliness that Zack had to have felt to get that far.

Now being able to feel the familiar warmth that his brother brought him when he needed someone to talk to, to be his best friend, to be on his side, was the best feeling he had felt in a long time. It meant that his brother was getting better and he was slowly getting back to the boy he used to be.

"Are you ready to lose?"

Cody smiled. "I was about to ask you the same question." He fed the quarters into the machine and picked his fighter. Zack picked his and when the game started the two started to slap the buttons on the arcade game, shifting the joysticks back and forth.

And for the next few hours, things were back to normal.


	7. Unexpected Returns

**.:Chapter Six:.**

_Unexpected Returns  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong><em>September 15<em>**

_Can I just say that being on a specific diet to gain weight sucks? Not only does it make my stomach hurt more than it did when I didn't eat, but it makes me feel like everyone's constantly watching me. Like, this morning for example. Mom put my breakfast in front of me and while she has gotten better with her cooking—though I'm not going to say that I hadn't thought about ordering room service instead—it's still not something that I'm going to dive back into eating. _

_But I knew that Mom had been watching me, I can always tell. Cody was doing his best to keep form looking at me and that makes it worse too. Really, I preferred that they would just talk to me as opposed to thinking that it'd make me upset. Surprisingly enough, talking helps a lot and at least my therapists make me do it at my own pace._

_I can't say it's all bad, though. At least they all know it's not something easy that I'm trying to get through. There are still many times that I don't want to eat something, I have no desire for it and then there are times where my body just rejects the food and I involuntarily throw up. Those are the moments that I know it has Mom staying up all night, crying or wondering what she could do to help me even further. But I'm getting everything I already need for help; I just…need more time._

_But time had been the problem in the first place; I had too much time on my hands to constantly think of different ways to make sure I lost the weight. Now that I have so much time away from school, I need to find different things to fill it up or else I'm afraid that I'm going to fall back into that pattering again. Not only do my appointments only go for a certain amount of time, but then there's the rest of the day between my appointments and going to work at the day care and even then I don't work every day. But that's just as hard, I'm not allowed to do exert myself so I can't run after the kids and I can't play as many games with them as much as I'd used to and I know they don't understand what's going on._

_Maddie explained that I'm sick, and then I had a bunch of them asking me questions._

_What soup would make me feel better?_

_Did I have the chicken pox?_

_Could they make cards for me? Would that make me feel better?_

_And I couldn't help but laugh. Of course their views of the world were so innocent, if I asked them did they ever not eat, they'd probably think I was being silly. It would be hard to explain to them and hard to not scare them. In fact, I'm surprised they hadn't run screaming when they saw me right before I went into treatment. Looking at pictures of myself form them and looking into the mirror now…I can't really see a difference._

_I still see fat. I still see the chubby kid I used to be. I still see all of the baby fat and the weight gain from my unhealthy eating habits when I was a kid. I know, realistically, it's not there, but I still saw it. And that was my main problem, the longer I saw that I was fat, the harder it was going to be for me to get better. That's what I'm constantly told and told and yet, I still can't eat as much as I used to._

_It hurts._

**_-Zack_**

_What I ate today: Half of my oatmeal, glass of orange juice._

Zack closed his notebook as the bell rang, signaling the end of homeroom. He gathered his things together, slinging his backpack over his back. _Of course all of that had only been what I ate this morning, _he reminded himself. _I still have the rest of the day. _

He followed his friends out of the classroom and fell into step beside Tapeworm as they headed off to their elective class, Local History. It was bad enough that he had AP History to deal with, but he found it a bit difficult to keep up with the homework assignments for both classes, especially as to those that were due on the same day. _I don't think I can do this._

"Hey, Zack, are you OK?" Tapeworm asked, looking over at his friends.

Zack glanced up at him and shrugged. "I'm doing alright," he lied.

Tapeworm reached out and grabbed onto his arm, pulling him to a stop. "I'm not asking how you're doing with…your sickness; I'm asking how are you doing right now? You look like you'd rather be anywhere else than at school." He tilted his head to the side. "But you were practically begging to come back here"

"I know." Zack rolled his head to the side. "I'm just…" he motioned to the students that walked by him, looking their way. "I'm just tired of people whispering about me like I can't hear them. I mean, can't they find something else to talk about."

"You mean me and Max?"

Zack eyed his friend warily. A little alarm bell was going off in his head, alerting him to where the conversation was about to go. Tapeworm twisted his mouth to the side. "When they're not talking about you and what you've done through, they're talking about us. I mean, I hurt one of my best friends to—"

"I really don't want to talk about this," Zack interrupted in the same fashion that he had with Max. "You and Max can do whatever you want. I don't and didn't own her." He shrugged, turning away. "We were having a lot of problems anyway."

Tapeworm's chuckle attracted Zack's attention once more. "If you'd let me finish," he said. "I was going to say that they talk about us a lot, after what happened to you, sure. But they also talk about how we're both on the basketball team and stuff and I know how much it sucks that you can't play when you clearly want to do it again." Zack shrugged once more. "So, I was thinking, why don't you and I work on your endurance and stamina with basketball again? When we have free period during school when we're not doing homework or something. We could go to the gym and work out."

Zack studied Tapeworm for a long moment.

This was the teenage boy that had gone from being a complete dork, to one of the most competent people he had ever known. He played the drums very well and that sense of rhythm had fallen into all other aspects of his life. Sure, he was as smart as ever, easily rivaling Cody and Bailey as the smartest, but he held a quiet confidence with it, not wanting it to control his life. And, if he truthfully thought about it, he knew that Tapeworm had a crush on Max for a long time. The signs were there, they were always together, and there was a history he couldn't compete with.

But Zack had been new and so assured of himself and the two couldn't get over a crush they had when they were young and didn't get to when they should have. Even when he and Cody had started Club Twin and he had flirted with Max and she proved that she clearly wasn't interested in him, they still went back together. Maybe it was because they were afraid of what would happen when they were apart, maybe it was because everyone around them _expected _them to be together. He wasn't sure what the real reason was and no matter how times his therapist asked him about his feelings on the whole situation, Zack still couldn't allow himself to open up to it.

Emotions were never his thing and he didn't think it'd change anytime soon.

Lest he became a cold-hearted robot in some ways.

"You know if anyone finds out I'm more than likely going to be lectured until I die?" Zack pointed out, causing Tapeworm to chuckle again. At least someone was able to appreciate his humor about the whole situation.

"Then we won't get caught."

The nonchalance of Tapeworm's statement cased Zack to grin. He flicked his hair out of his face and held out his hand. "Deal." Tapeworm slapped his palm into Zack's and shook it firmly. He then gently patted the elder of the Martin twins on the shoulder with his textbooks and tilted his head down the hallway. Zack followed him and the two went off to their class, getting inside before the bell rang once more, signaling the start of class.

Sliding down into his seat, Zack opened his backpack and started to take out his homework.

Despite knowing there were a slew of reasons not to, he was more than excited to get back to be able to do something other than constantly watch his weight. And for the first time in a while he had a genuine smile on his face.

* * *

><p>Heading towards the Boston Harbor later that afternoon, Zack stopped on the corner sidewalk of two converging streets and waited for the traffic to move in front of him. He didn't have to work that day and having had finished his homework at a good enough time so that he wasn't expect back for a while, it was a better time than ever.<p>

He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans and bounced on his toes, waiting for the light to change. Glancing through the cars the whizzed by, he noticed a familiar ponytail bobbing in front of him as a female figure walked came out of a building and started walking down the sidewalk. He looked both ways as the flow of traffic slowed down before hurrying after her.

"Hey, Riles! Wait up."

Riley looked over her shoulder, hearing her name called and smiled when she spotted Zack hurrying to catch up to her. "Hey Zack, what's up?" She tilted her head as he fell into step beside her and they continued down the sidewalk. "Did the kids at the daycare finally get tired of looking at you?"

"Ah, I should've seen that one coming," Zack commented, tilting his head back, laughing lightly. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "Can't seem to go one day without some sort of joke can you?"

"Well, I wouldn't exactly be me if I didn't, would I?"

"That's very true." He lowered his chin. "I'm not working today. Got the day off, there aren't many kids going in today and Maddie can take care of them all." He flicked his hair out of his face. "So what are you doing out here? Don't you have cross country practice?"

"I missed it today, I had a doctor's appointment," she explained then gestured back behind her. "Then I had meeting with a friend that Uncle Christian has at the gym, to talk about getting a career in fitness and everything." Her upper lip curled. "I don't think that's a career that I'd particularly want to go into, but you never know."

Zack snorted. "If you ask me, I think people are taking it too seriously. I mean, it's senior year, we should be having fun, not obsessing over the colleges that we're going to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on going into debt. Which, of course, just means that I should probably be looking for scholarships right now, but that's also the lease of my worries because last I checked, I was threatened to be tied down and force-fed."

Now it was Riley's turn to snort. "By now you should know that I never…usually, follow through with any of the threats I make. I just like to be playfully threatening. Actually scaring people isn't my bag, yeah?" She shrugged. "Not that many people believe it anyway."

Zack nodded silently, but didn't say anything else. He wasn't a fool, god knows there was something he was going to say that would be taken the wrong way and he would pay for it with a well aimed punch to the arm. The two continued until they reached the Boston Harbor and as Riley sat down on the top step above the lapping water, Zack stooped down and picked up a handful of rocks.

Despite it being the perfect weather for sailing, the only thing missing was the wind that would propel them along. However, it gave him the chance to look at the boats that were stationed in port. Seagulls swarmed and dove around, convening on the murky water. The waves continuously lapped at the steps and out to the Massachusetts Bay which would then lead to the Atlantic Ocean. His eyes followed them, rising and falling, watching as they crested and dispersed, taking along the slight film and debris along with it.

As he watched, Zack slowly threw the rocks into the water one by one, almost absentmindedly. In fact, for the first time in a long time he didn't find himself thinking of anything in particular. Not his worries about his wait, school, his parents—especially as he and Cody were going to be at Kurt's place for the next week—nothing. And if that wasn't a weight off his shoulders he didn't know what was.

"You know what your problem is, mate?" Riley's voice caused him to twist around and look at her. She lifted a hand and pointed at him. "You don't know how to have fun."

Now both of Zack's eyebrows lifted upwards incredulously. He didn't know how to have any fun? The guy that had a rooftop party his first week in the Tipton Hotel, who tried to get the picture of the million dollar kiss, who started rock squared, who tried to catch the hotel thieves, who led the charge in looking for the treasure rumored to be buried in the hotel, who got the French girl Jolie to go out with him even for a few minutes, and however any other things that had gone on at the Tipton hotel and he was the one that didn't know how to haven any fun?

Granted, his definition of 'fun' and hers were probably two completely different things, but not that different. She was usually the first one to join in on his plans around the Tipton hotel and in some cases teased Cody as much as he did. But still, he knew how to have fun and was probably the most fun person he had ever met. The incredulous expression must've still been on his face for Riley lifted her blue eyes to his and smirked at him.

"Yes, I'm talking to you," she said and then shrugged. "You don't know how to have any fun."

"Excuse me, but I think I know how to have fun and I'm insulted that you're implying that I don't." Zack turned back and continued to throw the rocks into the water, watching as each fall of the stone into the water created a splash like mini-canon fire. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but the only reason you guys came over to the Tipton all those times was just to hang out with us because you were bored and needed something fun to do."

"We _lived_ at the Tipton hotel, dummy." Riley pushed herself up and brushed off the seat of her pants before moving up to his side, arms crossed over her chest. She flashed him a playful smile. "Though it doesn't surprise me that you don't really remember. You were usually too busy trying to get Maddie to go out with you."

"You were jealous and you know it," Zack said, returning his smile with one of his own. "Either that or you just liked spending time with me. That works, too. I mean, I _am _a likeable person."

"You got us into a lot of sticky situations that's for sure. And you are charismatic, I'll give you that. Not that it would've mattered if I recognized it or not, every girl you've ever gone out with has seen it." She sucked in a deep breath, suddenly looking serious. "And, for the record, it wasn't fair that you were considered not to go out with, by a lot of girls, because you were dating around. I mean, how else are you supposed to find the one you're supposed to be with, right?"

Zack's right eyebrow rose at eth sudden change in conversation topic. Not that he minded it being a serious conversation topic, just didn't really understand how it had come out of nowhere. "You sound like you've wanted to say that for a long time."

"Kind of," Riley admitted. "Not only that, but you look like you needed to hear something positive." The smirk came back to her face. "Though if you're fine with me messing with you, that's cool too." Zack matched her smirk with one of his and he threw the rock into the water once more, putting a spin on it. Riley's eyes widened as she watched the stone skip across the water. "How'd you do that?"

"Do what?"

He threw another rock and it skipped across the water seven times.

"That!"

"Skip rocks?" Zack gave her a funny look and did it again. "You don't know how to skip rocks."

"I know how to skip rocks, mate." Her voice dripped with sarcasm along with a hint of condescension. "You can't live at the beach and go up to the lake as often as we do and not know how to skip rocks. I mean, I don't know you can get it to skip more than three or four times."

Chuckling, Zack put another stone into his hand. "It's not that hard," he said to her. "You just have to get a flick of the wrist along with having a good trajectory pattern in mind." Riley gave him a look and he rolled his eyes. "Yes, I know what trajectory means. I've done enough flight simulations in my eighteen years of life to understand how it works." As if to prove his point, he gently bent to the side and tossed the rock against the breaking wave, skipping it nine times before it sank under the surface of the water. "You want to try?"

Riley held out her hand to accept the rock he handed to her. "Knowing my luck, I probably have a better chance of the rock ricocheting off of something and hitting me in the forehead."

Zack clamped his hand down over hers and looked her directly in the eye. "Knowing _my_ luck, I have a better chance of you accidentally hitting me."

"Because you're ego's so big you mean? Yeah, Zack, I can agree with that." Riley pulled her hand away from Zack's and pressed her lips together in concentration. She pulled her arm back and threw it forward, shooting the rock across the water a few times before it sank. As Zack burst out laughing, she reached out and shoved him on the arm. "It's not that funny!"

"It's very, funny, actually." He skipped another rock to prove how lame it was in comparison. "Just another thing you're not good at Sweet Thang, that's something I look forward to each and every time." He paused. "Apart from looking good anyway."

"Thanks for the compliment, but you're going to have to be a bit more original. Though if your aim is to improve my ridiculously low self-esteem then you're doing a good job." Sticking her tongue out of the corner of her mouth she tried throwing another rock and managed to get up to five skips on it. "What are friends for, right?"

"To embarrass the other in what is the most pitiful rock skipping competition ever!" Now getting up to eleven skips, Zack threw his hands into the air. "Whoo! I'm the king! And no one can touch me!" He looked over as Riley scratched her forehead, effectively covering the pout that was working its way onto her face. "And you can't handle it." He reached out and poked his finger into her cheek, digging it in until she slapped his hand away.

"I can handle it just fine; I just need to find a better rock."

She knelt down and stated to root along the stones that were at her feet. Zack knelt down as well, under the guise of looking, but reached his left hand out and flicked his fingers, splashing her in the face with water. She jerked back out of the way and moved to slap him on the arm, but, laughing, Zack quickly moved out of her reach and continued to move as she tried to hit him.

He continued to back out of her way, as she chased after him, face starting to turn a light shade of red. Anyone that knew the Australian teen knew she was starting to get very angry when her face started to turn as red as the dye in her hair. And not wanting to be on the receiving end of it for once in his life, he quickly gave up the chase and allowed her to get a few hit in before quickly fending off her blows.

"Sheesh, you really need to learn how to take a joke, Sweet Thang."

"I can take a joke, just not when I have water with who knows how what kind of bacteria flying into my face." She brushed her cheek with her shoulder as she turned, sniffing. "If I get sick after this just know I'll kick your ass."

"And I'll be waiting for it." Zack made a show of bowing regally, receiving a glare, "C'mon, I'll walk you back home, I'm sure Christian would be the one to really kick my ass if I let you go by yourself." He picked ups his backpack and slung it over his shoulders once more before the two started to walk back to her uncle's house.

Along the way they talked about the upcoming Red Soc baseball games, noting that the team had a chance of making it to the World Series, but only if they didn't mess up any of the games that were coming up.

"I'm telling you though," Zack said. "If they changed out Ellsbury with Uehara, they'd have an even better chance of winning. Ellsbury is a few games away from tearing a ligament or _something_. It happens like clockwork." He snapped his fingers to prove his point.

"And all _I'm _saying is that Ellsbury is what's working for them right now and if it ain't broke, yeah, don't' fix it." She shook her head. "But if you want to be the one that single-handedly jinxes our team from winning this year, then be my guest, mate. It'd make you a boofhead, but be my guest."

Zack rolled his eyes. He glanced up towards the front porch of the Manning household and quickly threw out his arm, stopping Riley when he noticed there was someone standing on the front porch. The person didn't seem t notice that they had approached; nevertheless he had no idea who it could've been that was looking for the house. Christian surely would've mentioned something. Glancing over at Riley, he noticed that she appeared just as confused.

"Excuse me," She called. "Can I help you? Are you looking for someone?"

Zack and Riley both stopped short when the figure on the steps turned and Robert Jackson looked back at them.


	8. I've Got The Blues

**.:Chapter Seven:.**

_I Got the Blues_

* * *

><p>"Could you hand me that pitcher?"<p>

Crystal turned from the sink, drying off her hands with a dishtowel, and picked up the glass pitcher that sat on the dry side of the sink. She turned and carefully handed it to her father, who was standing next to an open cabinet with all of their glassware.

Which was funny in itself as they only ever used the glassware for special occasions; holidays, job promotions, good news, birthdays…otherwise they only ever used plastic and paper plates, anything that would cut down on the washing that needed to be done. However, this time there was no need for the glassware considering the festivities they had been planning on celebrating had gone right down the toilet as soon as their special visitor had shown up.

Crystal snorted slightly at the thought. _Special visitor? Yeah, right. _Even when she had arrived back home she had immediately noticed something was wrong. Call it intuition, claim that she had a galactic view of the world that had given her the ability to sense auras around her or that something was about to go wrong, but as she walked up the front steps of her house after school the day before her cousins' birthday, she knew something was wrong. Nothing looked outwardly different, but there was a feeling of…something heavy crushing the area around her. Then having gone inside she was completely convinced of her worries when she realized how quiet the house was.

Their house was never quiet, if they all weren't running around doing something, playing some sort of game together, arguing or laughing, then there were little groups doing stuff together that usually resulted in Crystal in her 'firm-mother-voice' telling someone to stop, Rhuben trying to diplomatically break up a fight, and Riley dealing out some sort of punishment if Christian wasn't around to do it himself. This time it was as if a bomb had gone off, it was so quiet; she had even wiggled a finger in her ear to be sure she hadn't gone deaf.

Her father had been waiting in the kitchen for her, still in his nice shirt and tie after having returned home from a day of teaching at UMass. When he had told her who had been waiting at the house that day her stomach dropped and she immediately understood why it was so quiet. Then Christian had noted that they weren't going to be celebrating the birthday the next day because of what had happened and she understood. Although no one had gotten around o picking up the glassware and silverware that was going to be used and it had been sitting out for most of the weekend.

Now that they were putting everything away, she was worried for a completely different reason. Her father hadn't said much about what happened and he was usually so vocal with his thoughts; even boring her to death at many points as he went on a tangent, working to figure out some sort of paper he was trying to get published. It wasn't like him at all.

"Dad, what do you think is going to happen now that Robert's out of jail?" She asked, turning around and lifting herself up onto the counter. She gently kicked her legs back and forth, heels making a light thudding sound as the alternatively hit the wood of the cabinet below the sink.

Turning, Christian leaned against the counter behind him, crossing his arms over his chest. "He was never actually in jail," he reminded her. "Not for long anyway, he got out for good behavior and has been on probation for a while as well as going to alcoholic anonymous meetings and anger management courses." Crystal's face contorted to an expression of surprise. "Don't even get me started on how many times I've tried to appeal it; I don't want to get into it."

He waved a dishtowel before tossing it aside. "The thing is, sweetie, that there's a part of me that wants to hear what he has to say. Maybe it's a part of his probation clearance, that he has to come back and apologize or whatever he wants to do. But then there's a part of me that wants nothing to do more than ram his face into the ground. The fact that he had the _audacity_ to come here and practically demand to talk to them…" he trailed off, shaking his head.

Crystal bit her lower lip as she watched her father.

She had only seen him get that angry once and it was when his anger was mixed with intense sadness and heartbreak, after having lost his wife, her mother. She remembered sitting in a plastic chair, outside of her mother's room, a blanket around her shoulders. She remembered that clearly because the blanket was stiff, itchy and scratchy, irritating the cut on her shoulder that had been quickly stitched up. There were still small pieces of glass ground into her hands and that got snagged not he threads of the blanket every now and then. A cut on her forehead had been stitched as well, hidden by her hair. Otherwise, she appeared as normal as anyone else that had been sent there for some little thing.

But her father had continued to pace back and forth in front of her mother's hospital room, running his hands over his face and peering in through the window, waiting for a doctor to come out and tell him that they had managed to stabilize Kristen and that she would be out soon. But when the surgeon came out and Crystal looked at the solemn expression on his face, and blood on his scrubs, she knew what her father didn't already know. Tears silently spilled down her cheeks as she watched Christian speak to the surgeon. And she continue to watch as he fell to his knees, trying to hold back his sobs, back arching and straightening as he gasped for air seconds before the most horrendous sound she had ever heard, reached her ears.

Bringing her small hands up to block out the sound couldn't erase the sound that would still haunt her as the years went by. Her father's gut wrenching screams and sobs but that wasn't the most chilling. It was when they were on their way home that she had heard him mutter something she was now sure he didn't think she had heard.

"I'm going to kill him."

And then Crystal didn't really understand who he was talking about. Why would he want to kill the surgeon? The doctors and nurses? They had done the best they could to help her mother after the accident and even then she wouldn't want him to allow his emotions to help him do something stupid, something he'd regret. It took her a while, and then she realized he had meant the one that had hit their car and driven away without a second thought.

Christian had wanted to kill him.

But even as time went by and he sat in his depression, slowly getting his life back, the two moving around as much as they did while he worked. They stayed wherever they ended up as long as they could before feeling they needed to get away again—usually when someone recognized the two of them as the nuclear scientist husband and his daughter who lost their wife and mother. Christian had ultimately ended up moving them back to Canada so that they could be closer to Kristen, and even then Crystal knew he still wasn't completely over what happened.

He had bouts of depression and always had that peculiar, sad smile whenever her name was brought up, then he'd quickly change the subject and light up again, as if nothing had ever been said otherwise.

And now he had that same expression on his face.

"I seem to remember you saying that before," she said, watching his reaction. Christian regarded her with a curious expression. So curious she almost believed she had made a mistake. But she knew. "After Mom died…you said that you wanted to kill him…the guy that did the hit and run."

Christian brought a hand up and ran it over his mouth, fingers gently scratched against the stubble that coated his cheeks and chin. "I don't remember every saying anything like that," he denied. "You know me, Crys, I wouldn't hurt a fly." He busied himself with the glassware, starting to rearrange it in the cabinet.

_A nervous habit, _she noticed. She had been with her father long enough to know everything about him—though she was sure there were some things he would never tell her even on his death bed—and understood when he was in pain. This was a tough thing to talk about, but maybe they'd make some progress this time. _Please don't push me away, Daddy. _"I heard you say it, Dad," she insisted. "In the car, on the way back home from the hospital. I don't think you wanted me to hear, or that you knew I head you, but I heard you say it." She shook her head. "Hurting someone…him Robert, is that really going to help?"

"You don't understand, Crys—"

"—then help me understand, Dad." Crystal jumped down from the counter and walked over to her father, standing in front of him with her arms crossed in a stubborn fashion. Christian sighed loudly, turning away from the cabinet, closing the door behind him with a loud slap. "You say you wouldn't hurt a fly but it's normal to want to hurt someone after they killed mom like that."

"I don't want to talk about it." He gently pushed by her and walked to the other side of the kitchen, busying himself with the stack of mail that sat at his spot in front of the table. It was junk-mail but he still continued to look through it as if it held the secrets of the world inside.

"You never want to talk about it."

"We've talked about it a couple of times."

"Not really, no." Crystal walked up behind her father and sat down in her own seat, directly next to her father. She turned in her seat, watching him as he continued to avoid her gaze, watching the man that she knew and loved who suddenly was a stranger to her. "Every time I try to bring it up you change the subject or get angry and solemn and go off to work on something. But I want to talk about it, Daddy. I want to talk about Mom…about what happened."

Christian glanced at her, eyes flashing. "You want to know what happened? Here's what happened,"—he pulled back his chair with so much force that the back legs followed its momentum and crashed against the wall behind him. "You and your mother were going out to get ice cream to bring home, after dinner. I had some work I needed to do, so I stayed behind. You were sitting at a red light, waiting to go and when it turned green Kristen started going forward. I'd expect that she didn't check both sides of the street to see if someone was going to run a red light as she usually did, she was always sort of paranoid about getting into an accident and ruining her spotless driving record,"—he chuckled slightly—"and a kid, having just got his license ran a red light and crashed into you before driving off. That's the theory; he hadn't been caught and is still out there somewhere." He tossed the mail back onto the table. "That's it."

Crystal rested her chin in her hands; processing the information she had just been told. That still didn't explain a lot of things. There was still so much that made no sense and in that vein she knew there was still a lot he wasn't saying to her. The pained expression on his face, chest heaving up and down, he continued to avoid her gaze, looking as if he was about to burst into tears the second he opened his mouth. She had speculated for years what it could be and had come down to only one explanation, other than losing the love of his life, that would cause him to become so stoic and dismissive whenever he was reminded of her.

"Daddy," she said quietly. "Was she preg—"

"That's all I have to say about it Crystalline," Christian interrupted firmly. "I don't want to talk about it anymore." He pushed back his seat and swiftly stood up. "If you'll excuse me, I have some tests and papers I need to grade." He leaned over and kissed his daughter on the side of the heard before leaving the room. With every step his footsteps retreating from her reminded her that there was a fissure in their relationship and as time went on the fissure turned into a chasm that continued to spread.

Leaning forward, Crystal placed her face in her hands, feeling her body start to seize and a lump form in her throat, the sure signs she was about to cry. She couldn't help it…just thinking about her mother, so beautiful and young being taken away from her when she was the one that had lived…

_It's not fair. _Tears gathered in Crystal's namesake eyes and as she tried to blink them back, it just caused them to spill over and run down her cheeks, collecting on her chin in a single teardrop before splashing to the tabletop. They continued to fall, as she quietly sobbed. Accompanied shuddering breaths and whimpers escaped the prison that was her lips pressed together. _If I could switch places with her…_Crystal wiped away at the tears, some starting to dry and crust upon her cheeks, but she couldn't stop them as they continued to gather and fall.

"Crystie?"

Turning her head to the side she spotted Aaron standing beside her, his face directed towards her, though eyes risen up a bit, slightly over her head. He reached out and touched her face, frowning when he found she was crying. Though she knew he was aware of her tears before having approached her. She was glad he was empathetic not to let on, though. She hadn't cried about this in such a long time but now that Robert was back…

It was like everything around her had decided to implode upon each other at one time.

"Hey Aaron, what's up?" She asked, brushing away her tears. "Did Patrick and Noah lock you and Syd in the closet again?"

"No." Aaron's voice was light. "We locked _them _in." He smiled a little. "Why do you think it's so quiet?"

"Well, as long as we don't have to bust down the door again, it'll be fine." Crystal playfully waved it off. "They'll be fine." She reached out and ruffled Aaron's hair. "Was there anything you wanted? Are you hungry?" She got up from her chair and moved back into the kitchen. She pulled open the refrigerator and glanced inside.

"No, we already ate the cake."

"You're going to get an upset stomach."

"Crys, I'm eleven, that's what I'm supposed to do."

Crystal smiled as she closed the door. Aaron shuffled over towards her side once more, left hand out and gently running over the counter, checking out the confines of the room. When he reached her once more, he reached out and grabbed onto her hand. "I heard you and Dad," he said. "Were you crying over Mom?" Crystal smiled as she heard her brother, who had never met her, still refer to Kristen as his mother.

"Ah…" She tilted her head, allowing a curtain of hair to fall over her face. "I'm…just frustrated because Dad won't talk about her. I know it hurts…but it hurts that he won't allow me to try and remember her and to still be close to her when I can."

"Oh." Aaron nodded. He squeezed her hand. "Well, I can kind of understand," he said helpfully. "He has some demons that he needs to work through…considering he knew her a lot longer than you have." Crystal glanced at him. "I'm not saying that's an excuse or that you didn't love her just as much or that she didn't love you even more because you're her daughter. I just mean that there might be more to the story that he's not telling."

"That's the point!" Crystal slapped her hands to her sides before bringing her hands up and scratching the back of her head. "It's just so frustrating that he _won't_ tell me! He's my Dad, my best friend, we tell each other everything." Aaron gave her a knowing look. "_Almost_ everything."

Aaron smiled at his sister and gently patted her hand before letting go and leaving the room. Brushing her hair back from her face, Crystal left the kitchen and went into the living room, flopping down onto the couch. Stretching out, she looked across the room and looked over the pictures that sat, framed, on top of the mantle, her eyes landing on one of her, her father, and her mother one day at Lake Ontario. She was nestled snuggly between her parents, arms around both of them, smiling for the camera with her smile wide with missing teeth.

She smiled a little, taking in the picture. She looked at it for a long moment before reaching into her pocket and pulling out her cell phone. Using her thumb, she scrolled through the contact before finding the one she had been looking for and pressed the signal to start the call.

* * *

><p>Zack blew his hair from his face, looking back and forth from the stack of dirty dishes next to him, to his phone as it rang on the coffee table. "Could you get that?" He called over to Cody, who was doing his homework at the table.<p>

"Sure." Cody reached out and grabbed onto Zack's phone, glancing at the screen before answering. "Hey Crys, what's up?" He paused, listening. "Yeah, hold on, he's just doing the dishes." He walked the phone over to Zack and placed it in the crook of his shoulder and his ear.

"Just so you know, I'm doing dishes," Zack said to Crystal."So you're one of my witnesses is Mom ever asks if I did my chores." He laughed to himself, carefully placing a tumbler glass onto the dish mat that was sitting on the counter next to him.

"I'd be glad to help if I'm ever asked," Crystal said dutifully. Zack frowned, noticing that she sounded subdued. "Where is your Mom, by the way?"

"Singing or something." He dismissed the topic quickly. "Are you OK? You sound weird." He bobbed his head back and forth. "Not that all of you guys are normally sane anyway, but this is different weird." He could imagine the blue loving girl roll her eyes but take the comment in stride. "Look, what with Robert being there, I know things are really weird for you guys right now."

"Weird is the understatement of the century," Crystal remarked.

Zack made a humming sound, focusing on burned food stuck to the pan he was scrubbing at, working harder than ever. Though he was sure at that point he was taking out his own frustration on the pan. He had been there and reacted badly when he had spotted Robert standing on the front step.

"What are you doing here?" He spat as soon as the older man turned around.

Robert ignored him, instead looking over at Riley. "It's nice to see that you took my advice and finally changed your hair color back," he remarked, referring to the bright shade of red hair that she had sported back when she and her siblings had first come to Boston.

That item she had ignored his statement. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk." He started down the steps towards them and the two backed away with each step he took. "Do you all live here? It took me a bit to find your address and everything, but…" he trailed off, looking over her. "How old are you now?"

Then Zack had taken a step forward, holding his arms out. "Hey, don't take another step, buddy. You're fine just where you are." He glared at the older man, looking him up and down. "You said you wanted to talk, so talk."

"I don't want to talk to him," Riley interrupted. She took another look at the man before side-stepping Zack and hurrying around her foster father, racing into the house with her phone in hand. Robert sighed, not appearing undaunted and shook his head, looking back at Zack.

"You know, I'm just trying to set things straight."

"That'd be fine if you had just stayed in jail, where you belong." Robert and Zack stared at each other for a long moment and Zack's blue eyes narrowed.

"If I belonged there, I wouldn't be out right now," Robert said patiently. "The team of judges, my parole officer, everyone at my AA meetings and anger management classes, they all believe I've changed and while its' a work in progress I believe I've changed as well." He crossed his arms. "I'm sorry that you can't see that."

"I'm sorry that a child abuser…a baby beater finds a way to talk his way out of jail," Zack shot back. "Then again, you've always been a smooth talker; I should've seen it coming at some point. But you can't fool me and you can't trick everyone that comes your way. One day, soon, they're going to find you to be the sorry, cowardly loser that you are and will realize that you should've fucking rotted in jail like you were originally told."

He stepped around Robert and went back to the Tipton hotel, immediately changing from his school clothes into his work uniform, hoping to pick up and extra shift so that he could make more money as well as take his mind off things. Besides, what was better than being able to play with legoes for a day, hanging out with a bunch of little kids that hadn't already seen the realities that the world had to offer?

Shaking his head, Zack tuned himself back to the conversation with Crystal. "You have no idea," he remarked. Clearing his throat, he rinsed the pan under water, tilting it back and forth, watching as bubbles popped up on the surface of the water. "Anyway, back to you sounding weird and not completely put together for once in your life. What's wrong?"

He heard her sigh a long sigh and for a moment he wasn't sure if she was going to answer. Then, finally, she started speaking, albeit quietly. "It's so weird," she said. "I can usually talk to Dad about Mom…when it comes to happy memories and stuff, but I wanted to talk about…the accident and stuff and he completely cut me off."

Now Zack's eyebrows furrowed together. "That is weird," he muttered. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Cody wave a hand to catch his attention. Turning toward him Cody shrugged his shoulders and raised an eyebrow, his way of silently asking what was wrong. Zack waved a hand back and shrugged as well. Cody nodded and waited, leaning against the counter next to his twin.

He remembered the conversation he had had with Crystal before he had allowed his eating disorder to take so much of his life. He had been talking to her about the 'what ifs' he constantly thought about. What if he and Cody had lived with their father? What if they had never come to Boston and continue to travel around with his band? What if…things ended up better having lived with Kurt than with Carey? But then they wouldn't have the friends they had now, they wouldn't have experienced everything that had them become friends and come closer together as the years went on. Sure, there were some instances that he wished he could forget—that horse still gave him the creeps—but he wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

Then she had asked him if he had ever really talked to his mother and father about their divorce. And even then he still hadn't managed to talk to them about everything he had been feeling, not even when he was lying in his hospital bed, days before being sent off for treatment. That hadn't been the extent of everything, but at least he had managed to get some of it out.

"I mean, you were the one that said that really talking about things, rather than acting as if it didn't exist, helped more…"

"I know." There was a low, sarcastic laugh. "And Dad and I used to be able to do that, but I don't think…I mean…I don't know." She sighed. "There's _something _he doesn't want to get into and it's been getting worse over the years. I tried talking to him about it today and he only told me the things I already knew. I think seeing Robert really shook him up because he was just as angry knowing he was back than he was when he found out the guy that killed my Mom."

Zack hummed. "They never found him?"

"No. Hit and run. I know Dad feels an immeasurable amount of guilt about it…he was so angry he wanted to kill the guy. He said the same thing about Robert…I don't think he knew I heard him the first time. And I told him that I heard him say that he wanted to kill the person…and things just went downhill from there." She sniffed. "Usually I can help him out of his funk, to talk things over—"

"—not to say he doesn't appreciate it, Crys, but I think he may just need time to digest things himself. Just give him some time and then sit him down and calmly tell him everything that you're telling me." Zack paused, suddenly realizing his advice was probably going to help him too. It was something he had thought about since his first argument with his mother and father, before his heart attack.

It'd make things easier, and tensions would probably be better around. It wasn't that he didn't like the life he currently had; he was just tired of everyone walking on egg shells around him, tired of wondering if things would turn into an argument at the drop of the hat, tired of constantly being underneath a microscope, having everything being completely and totally scheduled for him when all he wanted was support and some space to breathe. As a matter of fact, the longer he thought about it, the more sense it made.

"Actually, I think I should be taking my own advice," he said slowly. Leaving the dirty dishes in the sink, he took the dishtowel that sat on the counter beside him and dried off his hands. "Sorry if I hadn't been much help, I guess I'm not a great person to talk to."

"You're more of a proactive person, I can tell you that," Crystal conceded. "And if having someone talk to you helps with your therapy, helps with you getting back on track and everything…it helped me a little, too."

"You're welcome. Hey, I have to get going, I still need to do my homework, and I'm trying to get ahead so I can get back to class." He suddenly remembered the times he had tried so hard not to do his homework, even going as far as to try and convince his teachers he had dyslexia, just so he didn't have to worry about school anymore. And now here he was, trying to go back. It would've been funny if it weren't so…bizarre.

But nothing was every normal for too long around him and his brother, so at least he had to look forward to the moments that weren't boring.

"I'll talk to you later," he said. "Bye." Hanging up the phone, he turned to Cody, who had been patiently waiting.

"What'd she say?" He asked anxiously.

"Basically that Robert being back has really done something to Mr. Manning," Zack replied, gently shaking his head. "There's something he's not telling her and she's starting to get worried. You know how much of a Mother Hen she can be at times." Cody nodded. "But it gave me time to think of something that I had been wondering for a while."

"Like?" Cody crossed his arms, right eyebrow rising.

He studied his older brother as silence passed. He looked like the same Zack, the fire was returning to his eyes, and yet he could see that his twin still had a long way to go before being considered healthy again. He still didn't eat much, he got moody when his body told him he was hungry and he didn't want to eat, his cheeks were still a bit sunken in and there were dark circles under his eyes. But there were some positives; he had grown a lot, turning much more mature than he had been before. Though his mischievous ways were still evident in his smile every now and then.

"What if we had been with Dad growing up?"

Cody snorted. "You tried that, remember? When you stowed away on his bus."

"I know, but Dad's here in Boston now. He's got that job at that medieval restaurant thing and…he's around a lot more and the whole co-parenting thing isn't as bad as they originally thought if we haven't died yet." Cody laughed. "Don't you ever wonder what would've happened?"

"I try not to," Cody admitted. "Because I don't think it would've helped Mom's and Dad's relationship any, if we stayed with him." He rolled his eyes. "They'd still be at each other's throats over the way they'd raise us. Remember? They think they were better off as friends rather than having gotten married but since they got pregnant…" he trailed off, running a hand through his hair. "It's complicated."

"I know, but I've been thinking about it, and weighing the pros and cons for a while I think there's only one way that I'd be sure to get better."

"Well, what is it?"

Zack took a deep breath. "I think…"—he voice warbled for a moment—"it would be best if I moved in with Dad."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **I'm sorry for waiting almost a month for updating. I had a tiny bit of writer's block as well as wanting to get a bit further in my Flash story. I hope you guys have a great Thanksgiving though this chapter wasn't completely cheerful. Haha.

**Cheers**

**-Riles**


	9. I Get By

**.:Chapter Eight:.**

_I Get By…_

* * *

><p>"You want to move in with your Dad?"<p>

Zack looked up from his textbook and gave Rhuben a half smile a she slid down into the seat in front of him. He glanced around the library, checking to make sure that Miss. Barnes wasn't hovering over his shoulder again. Ever since that one incident four years before…she wasn't particularly fond of him. And even then, she never liked the fact that he was so much of a trouble-maker, his reputation preceding him before she had even met him.

And of course Cody was the one that had always gotten on her good side, checking out hundreds of books within the matter of months getting them back on time, if not renewing them, and ending up in long, laugh inducing conversations with her. Unfortunately she could always tell them apart and Zack never got the chance to win her over.

_Not that I'd even want her on my side, she probably hasn't smiled since 1825. _Zack smiled to himself before turning his attention back to Rhuben. "I see Cody told you about that," he remarked. He narrowed his eyes, pointing his pen at her. "You know something really weird? You and Crys have the same taste in guys. I mean, you both liked Cody for reasons I can't even begin to fathom, and then you both talk to Tapeworm a lot more than me. If I didn't have a healthy sense of self-esteem I'd start to get jealous."

Rhuben smiled. "Attention isn't particularly something you're short of, mate." She nodded over his shoulder and Zack twisted in his seat and found a thin, brunette sitting at the table across the library. Noticing she was caught looking at him, instead of blushing and looking away, she gave him a bright smile and a quick finger wave before turning back to her book.

Shrugging, Zack shifted his attention towards the purple-clad Australian teen. "What can I say? I have a lot of charisma."

"And you're not lacking modesty, either," she said sarcastically. Zack chuckled. "But don't change the subject, yeah, Codes told me about you wanting to move." She frowned, brushing her purple strand of hair behind her ear. "I don't want to sound like I'm lecturing you or nagging you, or acting like I know what's best, but…it's not a good idea for you to live with your father…not yet."

Zack leaned back in his seat, listening patiently.

"It may be something that's better for you personally, mate, but if you want things to come good then you need them to stay stagnant as possible." She paused for a second, looking away from him and when her blue-violet eyes moved back to his, they were soft with understanding. "I know everyone around you, your Mum and Dad and those in the Tipton hotel want to think you're better. But you're not. You've never going to be _better _and you're never going to be _normal_, you're just going to be in control of it no matter how much that tiny voice in your head is telling you you're putting poison in your body and you need to expel it."

Zack nodded, suddenly feeling a sense of relief. As surprised as he was to know that Rhuben had been anorexic as well, she seemed to have had a lot of things I her life together, he was glad there was someone that understood what he was going through. Being able to hear her experiences with it or to just know what was going made it easier."

"Just as long as you don't threaten to shove food down my throat then…" Zack trailed off, chuckling.

Smirking, Rhuben laughed herself. "Patrick tried that on me once. Since I was sick, he thought that making e eat chicken soup would make me feel better…which was a nice thought but he wouldn't stop bugging me about it. He stopped after I drop-kicked him out of my bed." She smiled her amusement. "He flew so far there's a spot about six feet from the ground where the soup hit the wall."

Zack's laughter echoed across the library and he sank low in his seat when harsh shushes were sent his way. Holding his textbook over his face, he waited until he was sure the librarian wasn't about to rap him over the head with a rule or lob an apple at the back of his head. There was still a tender spot on the back ride side of his head that twinged every time he thought about that memory; though he could admit he did deserve it by shooting spitballs at the poor woman while bored during study hall one day.

"Well, considering how much you guys are around each other I'm surprised you're not completely black and blue from the way you beat each other up." He chewed his lower lip as Rhuben made a humming sound and looked away.

It was something that even he and Cody did, get into play fights and wrestle…but what did it mean that kids that had been abused for so long did the same thing? He had seen them playfully push each other over, punch each other on the arm, and wrestle as well, and that didn't seem to scare them.

But as soon as the one person from their past came back…

"Speaking of…what's going on with Robert?"

"He only came back last week, what do you expect to happen?" She scratched the side of her neck, voice going flat. "But it's definitely one of the more interesting thing that's happened to us lately."

"How're your brothers handling it?"

"Not well, though, honestly, none of us are, really. Sydney doesn't like to sleep alone, Noah seems to have become even quieter than usual, and Patrick busies himself with everything else to ignore it having happened." She paused. "Actually, that's not true; he's been to the gym every day this week so…"

Now mimicking Zack's movement and chewing her own lower lip, Rhuben took a moment before continuing. "Its times like these…where I feel like I have no control over what's happening around me…that caused me to…" she trailed off and Zack nodded in understanding. "Though Christian's already been watching me so that's really helpful." She leaned over, reaching into her backpack.

His eyebrows twitched. "Really?" She nodded. "And that doesn't bother you?"

"Being babied sometimes is annoying." She lifted herself back up and opened and opened a package of Skittles. "Then there're the sympathetic glances and people don't understand an eating disorder who's trying to help you...it's nice to have someone to look out for you. Because as much as you want to prove you can do it on your own, you always need the support." She passed the package of candy across the table to Zack, who took a few pieces in his palm and handed them back. "Which makes me hesitant on the whole moving in with your Dad thing, yeah? I understand he's working hard to be a permanent figure in your life again, mate, but there's so much he missed because he was on the road and constantly going around. And while you clearly want his support, mate, it might not be right, right now."

Zack took the few pieces of candy and nodded, but didn't otherwise respond.

The sweet, tangy candy hit his tongue and reminded him of all of the times he and Cody had been allowed to eat whatever they wanted when they were kids. Not only because they were kids and had nothing but massive sweet tooths—which Zack was proud to say he still had—but because while their mother had been gone so long looking for work, their grandmother, true to the stereotype, had given them everything they had ever asked for when it came to being fed.

The candy reminded him of simpler times and reminded him of how much he hadn't wanted to grow up due the pressures and responsibilities that were meant to come. And now that he finished the candy, not feeling the urge to throw up, he understood what she meant.

Didn't mean he had to like it.

"At some point or another I think moving out is best for me," he finally said. "Especially since Mom and I haven't stopped fighting since…" _And I don't know if we ever will, _he added silently. Nevertheless, Rhuben seemed to understand for she nodded, glancing up towards the ceiling as the bell rang, signaling them to their next class.

"Do what you need to, Zack." She reached out and rubbed the back of his hand. "Just don't feel like you have to make that decision just this second."

"Thanks." Zack stood up and picked up his backpack. He started to dig around inside, a sly smile on his face. "How would you like your birthday gift? You could use some cheering up considering all that's happened…" Rhuben waited patiently and Zack pulled a small, digital camera out of his backpack and handed it over to the Australian teen, whose eyes immediately widened. "I didn't get a chance to wrap it, sorry."

"Don't be." She took the camera and started to look it over, examining its sleek, silver body. Eyebrows lowering, she glanced up at him through her lashes. "But isn't this kind of expensive?"

"No need to worry about that." He waved his hand. "I've had money saved up for a long time for gift giving holidays and whatnot. Wait until you see what I'm getting Mom and Dad for Christmas."

Rhuben opened her arms and gave Zack a big hug. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He laughed when he pulled back and saw the sly smile that Rhuben had on her face.

"So what'd you get Riles?" She asked.

He smirked. "You'll see."

Slinging his backpack over his shoulder, Zack turned and started walking out of the library, heading towards his locker. He fell in step with the crowd of students around him as they rushed to get to their next class within the five minute time frame. He wasn't particularly worried about it, however, as Miss. Tutweiller was the teacher for their next class and never paid close attention to attendance and lateness. Usually because she had her nose buried in some romance novel or was on the phone texting whomever she was dating at the moment.

Eyes moving back and forth across the students that were in his path, Zack couldn't help but notice the familiar sympathetic glances that came his way, amongst the ones of admiration. That's what confused him. How could he have gotten so sick and _still_ have girls eyeing him like a piece of meat or guys giving him a head nod as if he were some sort of a God or something. He could admit it stoked his ego, because his self-esteem really did feed off of what people thought of him, but it was all so surreal.

His doctors had warned him about it, how life continued to move on despite how long he was in the hospital, in therapy, or having his off days from school. He just never thought it'd be evident right in front of his face.

"You look like you're thinking about a lot." The feminine voice surprised him for a moment before he recognized the girl of medium height walking along beside him, smiling up at him. He smiled at her and she nodded after a moment. "Sadie," she said to him. "My name's Sadie, Zack. We've only been in the same class since you moved to Boston."

"Right, yeah, sorry about that," he quickly apologized before flashing his familiar flirtatious smile. _Habit die hard. _ "Though with a beautiful face like that you'd think I'd remember."

Sadie, pleased, smiled. "I bet you say that to all the girls."

"No, not all of them," Zack said. "I do have my preferences." He looked her up and down, taking in her appearance. Long brown hair in waves that curled around her face and shoulders, a nice sized chest, flat stomach, good hips, long legs…_Definitely what I could use as a distraction. _"Question is what does that mean for you?"

Flashing a confident smile, Sadie reached out and placed a hand on Zack's shoulder, pulling him to a stop. "A date to a party? Drew's throwing this big bash Homecoming weekend and I'd thought you'd like to gas my date. Of course,"—she gave a lengthy pause, looking him in the eye—"we could go out before then and use the party to be alone for a while…"

Zack was about to respond, ready to jump at the chance to have some fun for once, but found himself hesitant about it and he wasn't exactly sure why. Sadie must've noticed his hesitation, for she removed her hand from his shoulder and took a step back.

"Tell you what, why don't you take some time to think about it and you'll get back to me later," she said, gently twisting back and forth, the slight movement from her hips drawing his eyes down. "Just don't keep me waiting too long."

Zack brought his eyes back up to Sadie's face. "I won't," he said. "I'll catch you later." Striding over to his locker he found the row surrounded by his friends as they got ready for their classes. "Hi guys," he greeted them.

"Hey, Zack," came the unanimous reply.

"What were you talking to Sadie about?" Cody asked, tilting his head towards the brunette as she crossed the hallway to her locker. If she knew the twin boys were watching her, she didn't show it, focusing on changing her books.

"She asked if I wanted to go to a Homecoming party the Drew Crew are throwing, I told her I'd think about it," Zack said dismissively. He really didn't want to talk about it. Opening his locker door, he switched out his books for his English ones, stomach growling as he glanced at the lunch bag that rested on the top shelf.

"She doesn't really seem like a partier to me," Max commented, crossing her arms. She was sitting on the floor by her own locker, looking up at the girl before turning back to her friends. "She was always such a...brainiac growing up." Hearing Tapeworm clear his throat from besides her she glanced at him, Cody, and Bailey. "No offense," she added quickly.

"Everyone's gotta grow up some time," Riley remarked, clasping her books to her chest. Looking at Sadie herself, she tilted her head to the side, eyes narrowing slightly. When she spoke next, her voice was flat. "Doesn't necessarily mean people change though, yeah?"

Smirking Zack reached out and cupped her chin with his fingers. "No need to be jealous, I've told you before that you can have me if you want me."

She pushed his hand away. "The only thing I'm jealous about is that you gave Rhu her birthday gift and not me." Cody made a snorting sound beside her and she elbowed him in the stomach hard enough that he shifted back into the locker behind him before casting her a frustrated glance, which she returned.

As he had been listening quietly to the conversation, still not entirely part of the group but not out of it either, perked up at the news. "It was y'alls birthday?" He asked before slapping himself on the thigh, placing his hands on his hips. "If I'd known, I would've gotten you something."

"You don't have to do that," Bailey said. "You're new here, you didn't know."

"Yeah and we get enough stuff from this lot," Rhuben added, gesturing around to the group of friends. "Anything else would probably be a bit of overkill. Don't worry about it." Riley nodded in agreement and Moose grinned.

"Thank you kindly, but I wouldn't be a gentleman if I didn't at least acknowledge it so if it still means something to y'all, happy birthday." Riley and Rhuben said their thanks and the group turned back to Zack, whose eyebrows rose in surprise.

"What?"

"Oh come on." Crystal rolled her eyes. "Even _we _want to know what you got her."

"Geez, doesn't anyone know the word 'patience' around here?" Zack reached into his backpack once more and pulled out two thin pieces of paper, facedown. He handed them over to Riley, who examined them warily for a moment, before taking them into her hand. "Happy Birthday." He watched her reaction as she flipped them over, seeing her face instantly light up. "If they're too far from the field, I'm sure they can easily be exchanged for seats right above the Red Sox dugout or something."

"No, no, this is fine," she said quickly. Her lower jaw then moved to the side and she brought up her hand, gently running her finger over the scar left on her face.

If looking right at her the tip of the scar wouldn't be noticed, however when her hair was pulled back from her face or she got lost in thought it was easily noticed; for one of her nervous habits was to reach up and gently run her fingers along the puffy line that ran from her jaw up to her cheek.

"How much did that cost?" Cody asked, looking a little jealous. He had snatched the tickets out of Riley's hand and was looking over them himself. "And how come whenever we wanted to go to baseball games tighter I was the one that always had to buy the tickets because you 'just so happened' to run out of money?"

"Because, Little Brother, I'm teaching you how to manage your money better." Zack laughed, patting him on the shoulder. "And I thought you liked that microscope I got for you for our birthday." Cody smiled and looped his arm around Zack's shoulders.

"I'll admit, you've always been great about saving your money," he said.

"If you haven't thought about it, you should try studying business in college," Crystal added. "I think you'd be really good at it."

"Yeah, if I get there." Flicking his hair out of his face, Zack rolled his eyes. "If I can start going to school full time again.

"I'm sure you will, Zack," Bailey said soothingly. "Just give them some time to change their minds, everything will work out." She looked at her watch and started to get up. "Yikes, we better get to class or we're going to be late." As soon as the words were out of her mouth, the bell rang and the hallway started to empty.

The group of friends split up and started to go their separate ways off to class. Zack had only managed to go a few paces before he felt something poke him in the side, right under the ribs, and he jumped. Groaning, he turned towards Riley, whom he knew to be the only one that consistently liked to do that to mess with him.

"Would you stop doing that?" He asked her.

"I can't help it if it makes you jumpy," she returned.

"I'm not jumpy."

"Right, rabbits jump. That was like a jackelope hyped up on massive amounts of caffeine. Your head nearly hit the ceiling." She laughed, tucking her hair behind her ear before waving the baseball tickets towards him. "But seriously, thanks for this. It means a lot."

"You're welcome," Zack replied. "It was the best thing I could think of, considering you didn't want Dad's guitar when I offered it to you last time." Riley didn't reply, other than heaving a heavy sigh. He had an inkling as to what it was that brought the sigh and changed the subject. "Though that little trade-off that we had for help with the guitar worked out pretty well."

"Mmm, it worked out well for you, mate. You never got in the water," she reminded him. She then stopped, reaching out and grabbing onto his arm. The hallway was empty now, their friends having gone into the class before them. Zack only hoped Miss. Tutweiller wouldn't pay close attention to roll call that day. "Did I cause your eating disorder?"

The question caught Zack off guard and he blinked rapidly in confusing for a few moments before shaking his head. "What?"

"I know I don't always think before I speak and that causes a lot of things to come out in ways I didn't intend. And some of the jokes I've made…some of the things I've said over the years…and as of late…"

_"Eating, maybe," Riley remarked. She gave him a teasing smile, reaching out and poking him in the cheek. "That just means that you're going to eat twice as much as you usually do at the buffet."_

_"And God knows Zack would never miss a meal." _

_"No you can't, you'll get sick!"_

Thinking back on those moments, Zack was a bit surprised to note that other than the last moment, he hadn't really thought about it. The latter moment stuck out in his mind only because he had been in the hospital at the time and it was badly-timed words as he was going to start his treatment the next few days, but now it made him know that his eating disorder and everything…was really his own reasoning. He had made the conscious decision to lose weight so he could get back to a good position on the basketball team due to his own jealous and insecurities, he continued to fall deeper and deeper into the pattern of working out and throwing up on his own merit as he was the one in control.

Like Rhuben had said.

"No," he said honestly. "It wasn't you, it was all me. I made the choice to ignore everyone around me and keep going back to something that I knew wasn't doing me any favors." He ran a hand through his hair before looking down at the girl that barely came up to his chin at five feet tall.

She let out a sigh of relief. "If it means anything…I'm sorry for the things I've said."

"It means a lot and don't worry about it." Zack smiled at her before tilting his head. "C'mon, I don't think even with your sneaky brain you can think of a good excuse for Miss. Tutweiller as to why we're late."

"I'm sure I'll think of something," she said confidently. "I always do."

"Right, I can't forget that half of the things we managed to get into was your fault."

"My fault, sure, but you were the one that kept complaining about being bored and wanting to mess with Moseby; you planted that seed in my evil brain."

"So it's my fault?"

"Totally!"

The two walked along in silence for a few minutes before Zack spoke up again. "You know, for yours and Rhu's gift I was originally thinking of having all of us go out to Cape Cod for the weekend or something. Camping out hanging out around a fire, goofing off as much as we wanted."

"Then as soon as we started telling ghost stories we'd have to immediately pack up and go back, yeah?" She flashed him a smile. "Because Cody's such a wimp when it comes to telling ghost stories."

"You got that right." Zack held out his hand and Riley high-fived it as the two laughed, walking into the classroom.

* * *

><p>Zack held his breath as he raised the dumbbell over his head. He focused his gaze on the lightning bolt necklace that dangled around Patrick's neck as he stood over him, spotting him on the bench. His breath coming out in a quick 'woosh of surprise' Zack quickly found his arms giving out and the dumbbells crashed against his chest.<p>

Reacting quickly, Patrick grabbed the weights and pulled them off of the blond teen as he sat up coughing. Sydney, who had been sitting on the floor across from him, smiled sympathetically. He picked up the pen that had been resting in his mouth and scribbled on the notebook that rested in his lap. Tapeworm and Noah stood around the two boys, arms crossed over his chest, watching patiently.

"If I knew getting back in shape was going to be this hard, I would've laughed n your face when you suggested this to me," Zack said. He brought his hands up to his forehead, quickly wiping the sweat away, keeping the matted strands of hair from his face.

"Don't worry dude, other than that abysmal display, you're doing great." Tapeworm patted Zack on the chest as the blond chuckled in exhaustion. "But, hey, if you want to stop—"

"No, no." Shaking his head, Zack sat up, resting his hands on his knees. "I'm fine. I just need to rest a bit."

"If it helps any, you did bonzer on the treadmill," Patrick remarked, walking back from the dumbbell rack. "Not only that but you can't expect to get back to the daily grind in a matter of minutes of working out again." He slowly started to smile to himself before laughing. "Get it? Daily grind? And he was running on a treadmill?" At Noah's sharp glance Patrick shrugged, still smiling. "Just trying to make you laugh."

"I'd reckon we'd laugh if it were a better joke," Noah said. He smiled as Patrick threw his arm around his neck in a headlock. The quieter twin elbowed Patrick in the side until he let go and then smiled, mussing his hair.

Zack smiled as he watched the exchange before standing up. He went over to Sydney and held out his hand. The eleven year old boy got to his feet and dutifully handed over his notebook. Tapeworm leaned over and looked at the notebook as Zack scanned over it. A chill went over Zack and he rubbed his arms, trying to stay warm.

Height: 5'11

Weight: 130

Treadmill: Made it five minutes at 5.0 before walking

Weights: Can only do a few reps at ten pounds before needing a break

Goals: Weight at least 155-160, play a whole soccer of basketball game without getting winded (if winded because of working very hard), lift my body weight. Stay at healthy weight range, (note I was dangerously underweight before).

Zack looked over the notes that had been written down and continued to rub his arms. He hated still being so cold, hated seeing his bones still poke out a little bit when looking in the mirror, and most of all he hated how whenever he looked in the mirror he still looked fat to himself.

But with his friends around him, he'd get better soon.

And if those goals meant anything, he would do anything to get there again.

"Don't worry, Zack, once we get into the swing of things, this'll be easier, mate," Patrick said firmly.

"Right and if you need help, Tape, Pat, No, and I are always here to help you out," Sydney agreed. He pressed his lips together. "If we can keep this from the others for a while, not because of how worried they'd be if they find out, but because they might stop you…" he trailed off. "Despite my initial hesitation, I think this is the best way to go."

"And we'll stop if you ever really need to stop," Noah added.

_Don't want another heart attack, _Zack thought as he wordlessly handed Sydney back the notebook. He brought a hand up to his chest, slightly remembering how much it had hurt and how confused he was when he was in the throes of the heart attack.

Now as he walked across the weight room with Tapeworm by him, ready to spot him as he worked on his leg workouts he couldn't help but glance into every mirror as he passed. No matter how much support he had, he knew those dark thoughts were resting somewhere in his mind, ready to take him back down.

He climbed into the machine that would have his feet pressed against a large metal sheet, using the strength from his lower body to push the chair he was sitting in back and forth.

"Are you ready?" Tapeworm stood off to the side, adjusting the weight that was to be added to the machine.

Zack nodded, gripping the hand grips beside him. "Ready."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Bringing in Patrick, Noah, and Sydney more is always needed though a bit difficult because they're younger than the other main characters so they're not always around. First arc of the story is done with the next chapter then I can start some of the other plots and have things move along quicker and bring in more friendship, family, humor, hurt/comfort, and romance moments.

**Cheers**

**-Riles**


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